Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Top Ten Most Awkward Blog Posts

Also known as the top ten reasons you should go here and vote for me for Most Awkward Blogger at this years 20SB Bootlegger Awards. Not because I'm popular (hint: I'm not) or not because I have worthwhile things to say (hint: I don't) but because if there's one things I can be recognized for it being a trainwreck chugging along on good intentions. Finally all those years of handjobs and mustache rides for all eight thousand members has paid off....wait, what?

10.) Have you taken home someone only to realize they work for the same company? And are six years younger than you? And they have a girlfriend, and even if all you did was pass out everyone now thinks you're the hussy who hooked up with the boss with a girlfriend? I have.

9.) Have you had a tampon taken out by a doctor that looks like Santa Claus? Yep. I have.

8.) Do you own a vibrator that sounds like a car backing up that is powered by a lawnmower engine? I do. His name is Travis.

7.) Have you ever tried to end the perfect date by kissing someone only to miss their face completely? Yup, me again.

6.) Do you have pictures of you peeing in a male urinal at the bar posted on the Internet? Needless to say the career in politics is ruined before it even started.

5.)Have you ever had sex while making a grilled cheese in a Robin costume? I may be awkward, but I do have some skills.

4.) Have you not only admitted to farting in yoga class, but posted about it?

3.) I have admitted on here that I cannot swallow anything. ANYTHING. And yes guys, I am single.

2.) Have you admitted on the internet that you got very publicly dumped via text message? Unfortunately, I have.

1.) Have you caused an entire bar to come to a standstill complete with music stopping because unfortunately you didn't know what the word sodomy meant before you screamed out that you loved it? Yeah. I have to say that was one of my finer moments.

And THE BONUS ROUND: is coming next Thursday with TMI Thursday ;)

So with that in mind, how can I lose with a platform like this? I'm never going to be a great singer or dancer or photographer. But if you want someone to fall off the bed during sex, put their foot in their mouth at a dinner party or puke on your shoes after drinking too much, well I'm that girl. So remember, vote Meghan at this years bootleg awards, because when I win, we all win. Or something like that.


jamie said...

You're my favorite.

Ben said...

This is also ten reasons why Ben loves you.

Amber (Girl with the red hair) said...

Definitely voted for you.

Lucy said...

Can't wait for Thursday!! You crack me up and I would vote for you but I am too old but you know I would definitely vote for you if I could!!!

Kristin said...

I'm sorry. I just spit out my drink. Ah ha ha ha ha. Best of luck with your award!

Who? Me? said...

So...I found you through my google reader and...I have to say, the fact that you like shiny things? AND pirates? Awesome. I don't blog much, but I do read daily. I'll be adding you to my reader :) Happy New Year!

Princess Pointful said...

I love the fact that you listed them. Because there were a few I hadn't read! And I felt better that Santa Claus had never seen my crotch.

Gregorio Martino said...

I think I love you. I will vote for you!!!

P said...

The sodomy one was DEFINITELY my favourite. I remember I even linked to it at the time because it made me laugh so damn much!

Organic Meatbag said...

Meghan, you know how awesome I think you are, but since I am a mid 30's blogger apparently, the site won't let me vote for you since I am not in the "20 something club"...ageism bastards...
But I would vote for you a million times...you should be up for far more categories...there are a few choice over-rated bloggers I see on there that I would like to see you beat...

Anonymous said...

I voted for you solely because of the tampon situation

LiLu said...

Honestly... I can't even be mad if I lose to you.

But have you SEEN me dance????

Mike said...

Is it just me, or is #6 hot for some strange, perverted reason?

Bina said...

I love this list, and I went back and read all the stories as well.

"Slap him in his stomach for not telling you he has a girlfriend BEFORE he gets in the cab, but not too hard, you don't want him to puke" I freaking LOVE that!!!!

Bruce said...

I have read each one of the blogs entries referenced ..........aaaaah, the memories.

Keep up the GOOD Work.

Jack said...

You madam, are full of pure win.


Meghan said...

jamie- no YOU'RE my favourite.

Ben- back atcha. And congrats on your nom, sex ;)

Amber- same!

Lucy- it's the thought that counts, thanks.

Kirsten- thanks.

Who? Me?- thanks! And happy new year to you as well.

Princess Pointful- be very glad.

Gregorio- thank you!

P-I embarrass to please.

Organic Meatbag- ageism indeed. Is that even legal? And thanks a lot :)

walkingonsunshine- thanks. i do need an award for that one. or stiff drink.

Lilu- same. And your dancing is epic.

Mike- what is it with you and the farting?

Bina- it was a hilarious and horrific lesson to learn. Thanks for reading.

Bruce-as long as there's alcohol in the world I'm sure I will.

Jack- thanks!

EP said...

This post = awesome.

I just stumbled over here and am glad I did. I've also taken home a co-worker. And dated a boss, once upon a time at the student newspaper. ... It ended badly.

Good luck with the awards!