Also known as the top ten reasons you should go here and vote for me for Most Awkward Blogger at this years 20SB Bootlegger Awards. Not because I'm popular (hint: I'm not) or not because I have worthwhile things to say (hint: I don't) but because if there's one things I can be recognized for it being a trainwreck chugging along on good intentions. Finally all those years of handjobs and mustache rides for all eight thousand members has paid off....wait, what?
10.) Have you taken home someone only to realize they work for the same company? And are six years younger than you? And they have a girlfriend, and even if all you did was pass out everyone now thinks you're the hussy who hooked up with the boss with a girlfriend? I have.
9.) Have you had a tampon taken out by a doctor that looks like Santa Claus? Yep. I have.
8.) Do you own a vibrator that sounds like a car backing up that is powered by a lawnmower engine? I do. His name is Travis.
7.) Have you ever tried to end the perfect date by kissing someone only to miss their face completely? Yup, me again.
6.) Do you have pictures of you peeing in a male urinal at the bar posted on the Internet? Needless to say the career in politics is ruined before it even started.
5.)Have you ever had sex while making a grilled cheese in a Robin costume? I may be awkward, but I do have some skills.
4.) Have you not only admitted to farting in yoga class, but posted about it?
3.) I have admitted on here that I cannot swallow anything. ANYTHING. And yes guys, I am single.
2.) Have you admitted on the internet that you got very publicly dumped via text message? Unfortunately, I have.
1.) Have you caused an entire bar to come to a standstill complete with music stopping because unfortunately you didn't know what the word sodomy meant before you screamed out that you loved it? Yeah. I have to say that was one of my finer moments.
And THE BONUS ROUND: is coming next Thursday with TMI Thursday ;)
So with that in mind, how can I lose with a platform like this? I'm never going to be a great singer or dancer or photographer. But if you want someone to fall off the bed during sex, put their foot in their mouth at a dinner party or puke on your shoes after drinking too much, well I'm that girl. So remember, vote Meghan at this years bootleg awards, because when I win, we all win. Or something like that.