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I've Moved!

To www.piratemeghan.com ....update yo' readers and come on over there. The water's nice and I have lemonade to share.!

On The Road to Recovery

Me, " Do they know what caused your heart attack?"

Dad, "No, but it happened right after your mom went to Costco and I saw the receipt. I think its safe to say I know the reason."


* * *
Me, "Since you have to eat healthy, I'll get mom to send me the buttertarts that are in the freezer so you won't have the temptation. It's for your own good."

Dad, "You're too kind. No, really."


* * *
Mom, "Well he's up and complaining about hospital food. It's always a good sign when people are well enough to complain."

Me, "That's right. We're a family that likes to celebrate success with sarcasm and complaining."

Mom, "Exactly!"


* * *
Mom," Your dad now has heart medication, aspirin, blood pressure medication, sleeping pills, and.."

Me, "Think he'll share the sleeping pills?"

Mom, "Ohhhhh, good thinkin."


* * *
Me, " What all are you doing during the day, Dad? You know you're supposed to relax and take it easy."

Dad, "Yeah, I checked my email earlier. It was pretty hardcore. Now I'm going to keep on sitting. I may even stand but lets not get too crazy."



Yep. Things are getting better.

There Are No Words

There are no words to express the emotions I have had running through my mind and body the last few days. And that's why I have been staring at a blank page for the better part of an hour.

What words can I use to tell you that while I was celebrating Superbowl with friends, drinking beer and dealing with the drama of a fight that broke out at the pub (testosterone and beer aren't always a good mix), my parents were on their way to the hospital, sixteen hours away. What words can I use to tell you that while the police were taking my information outside of the pub to make a statement I got a foreboding text to call my parents right away. What words will explain the feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you hear the words,

"Your Dad just had a heart attack. He was rushed to the hospital. He's in stable condition. I'll let you know information as I find it out."

What words can describe the following twenty four hours as I waited to hear the news that he was going to be alright. This was a warning, and a wake up call. He's now going to be on heart medication. He's going to be in the hospital and off work for awhile. He's going to have to change his lifestyle drastically. He's going to have to change everything dramatically.

What words can describe the anger I felt that he placed himself in this situation. Years of smoking and gravy and bacon and rye. All of it leading towards a moment, a call, a situation that although devastating was not entirely unexpected. The long hours and stressful days that could have lead up to it. The anger of remembering the conversations where I pleaded to get a side salad rather than fries and gravy.

What words can describe the guilt I feel. Lectures about smoking while secretly keeping a stash in my purse sleeve. Late night milkshake runs knowing he is supposed to watch his cholesterol. Questioning his career choices in the economy rather than supporting. Not understanding the burden of his stress.

What words can describe the thanks I have to a God I am not certain exists, that my Dad was in a center where there is an actual medical facility not a mining camp. That my mom was able to see the symptoms and react quickly. That the cardiologist happened to be on shift. That he gave my Dad a warning, rather than making him an example. I have wept to God more in the last two days than I can remember.

What words can I use to describe that right now I am scared and terrified. I am angry, and I am guiltridden , but most of all I am thankful that he has been given a second chance. I am emotionally raw, and the nerve endings are exposed. I feel like a small girl that just wants to go and be hugged by her Dad cause I know that Dad's hugs make everything better. But knowing full well that I need to be the strong one right now. Because my Dad's heart needs to heal, even when my heart feels like its breaking.

2010 Grammys Wrap Up Report

After doing a wrap up for the 2009 VMA's its only fitting to do a recap of the 2010 Grammy Awards of course. If you haven't seen it, it's okay you'll get the gist with these highlights.

Lady Gaga could eat a kitten on stage and seriously in my world she can do no wrong. Although I suspect if there was only one pair of sequined sunnies we would have seen Elton John and Lady Gaga have a bitchslap fight to the death on stage.

Some people carry pepper spray on them. Lady GaGa ups the ante.

• The oldest Jonas brother seems to smile more since he's gotten laid. Don't worry little brothers, you'll get your chance one day. Until they keep Blue Steeling.
  


• Green Day weren't relevant at the VMA's. They still aren't here. No seriously. They aren't.

• Beyonces outfit was clearly designed by her mother. That wasn't a compliment. Although her ability to crotch grab and headbang in a dress is seriously impressive.
  
  
• Rihanna- I'm glad you made it here despite all the shit you went through at this time last year. But get counselling for your problems. The doves on your outfit didn't deserve it.

No, seriously. What did they do to you?

I have no idea who this woman is but have now dubbed her 'Double D Tits McGee'

• Taylor Swift is precious. Like if the Easter Bunny and Mother Teresa had sex and out popped a faberge egg and it hatched Taylor Swift. Yeah, that precious.


• Is it possible to be scared of/turned on by someone at the same time? Yes. Her name is Pink. And it would be worth the risk.

• Miley Cyrus and Black Eyed Peas are bearable if you put the tv on mute. And turn away from it.

• Who is Lady Antebellum, and how do I not know about them? This rock sure is cozy and provides great shade.

• Alice Cooper, you will always make me wanna tease my hair, rim my eyes with black and dance on tables to 'Poison'. Thank you for that. Katy Perry, you can die now. And take Russell Brand with you. EDIT. I just saw this on twitter and Russell has since redeemed himself. Rusty Rockets -Grammies? Is that how much coke you need to stay awake through em? LoooooooooOOOOOOOOOoooooong. Well played Russell, well played.

• I'm sure the Zac Brown band is lovely. So if they could nicely give the Best New Award artist to The Ting Tings it would be greatly appreciated, thankyouverymuch.

• A legion of people shed a tear during the Michael Jackson tribute for not keeping their 3D glasses from Avatar.

• 'Living on a Prayer' is known to cause incessant air guitar, hip shaking, and singing into any object near by. There is no known cure.

• Dave Matthews Band are fantastically mellow. Unfortunately that translates to kinda boring when not baked. Yeah, hate me but I went there.

• Quentin Tarentino sounds like a WWE announcer. But Eminem, Drake and Travis Barker all together is a supergroup I can get behind. Or underneath. What?

Thanks for tuning in to my recap of the 2010 Grammy report and don't fret about your need to upcoming celebrity observations and judgement. The Oscars are right around the corner!...

*All photos are shanked from www.msn.ca Please don't sue me.

Living With Anxiety

Picture jacked from here.

Roughly four months ago I wrote one of the harder posts I've ever written about finally dealing with life having Generalized Anxiety Disorder. At that point I was bleak about anxiety in my day to day life, but hopeful about treatment. Where I had tried options like meditation and yoga and it it was getting worse, not better. Where I dealt with it. Here is the follow up post.

I started medication shortly after the post, in a minimal dose of 10mg daily. Side effects did spring up for the first couple weeks in the form of losing appetite, spotty sleep and a general malaise. I debated stopping the pills but pushed through and within a month found they had tapered off. Taking my medication in the evening helped to ward off the drowsy feeling I get afterwards.

I didn't notice any sort of big difference in my life. Pills will not solve problems, and if you think they will you are kidding yourself. The problems are still there but I found they have brought the mental clarity and stability to deal with them. I still have the same thoughts as I always do. I still have the same comforts in routine and lists and prefer a night in to social activity. But it was when I didn't take the pills that I noticed a change.

If I forgot to take a pill in the evening I noticed myself more irritable the next day and on edge. In fact I normally ask my coworker/good friend every day, "Do you think the boss is going to fire me today?". Every day. And I am never joking. I didn't even realize I had stopped asking until one day when I had forgotten to take the pill and started questioning her. It was only then that we both realized I had forgotten said pill.

A month ago the dose increased to 20mg daily, and I didn't notice the side effects as much as the medication was already in my system. There have been adverse side effects that come with anxiety medication. I find that if I drink more that 2 drinks in a night, I black out. I haven't blacked out from drinking in a long time and that in itself is scary and I have been very aware of this side effect. Another more embarrassing one is it has affected my sex drive (good for when single!) and ability to orgasm. It'll still happen, it's just not as easy. If anything I've found its good reason to keep practising (giggedy). I questioned my doctor about them, and she said down the road there are possible avenues to take for the sexual side effects, but I agree it's not enough reason to stop taking them.

On the overall four months in, I'm glad I've gotten the help I need. Its not as scary to think that I may be on medication for life to treat anxiety. It's no different than taking a calcium supplement if you have weak bones. And I don't feel embarrassed to say I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder, I feel liberated that I am going on with life despite it. I am not "cured" of anxiety and will never be. I still worry too much, am prone to anxiety attacks and sometimes just have to leave social situations because I find them very overwhelming. I still have control issues and like things done a certain way. But the last time I went to my doctor a couple weeks ago she had me do some test to see where my anxiety levels are at, and asked if I was worried about how they would come out. And to tell you the truth, I hadn't really thought about it, and was alright either way. And to let you know it had shown my anxiety levels went from severe to moderate.

NOTE:This is just my story of dealing with anxiety/medication. I am not saying medication is right for everyone,it is right for me. If this is something you suspect you may be dealing with, please contact a physician to see the path that is right for you.

My Points of Contention

Picture jacked from Here

I have to admit as much as I am a forward thinking career woman with a tongue like a whip, I still have some very old fashioned ideals when it comes to social etiquette. I don't believe you should answer your cellphone at a meal, guys should pay for the first date (unless asked on it), you should show up five to ten minutes early to an appointment, and thank you notes will never go out of style.

That being said lately there are a few things that have been annoying me endlessly, and it's been a point of debate among friends if it's socially fine and I'm just uptight, or if there are boundaries that some people just do not have respect for anymore. Either way it's an excuse to rant.

Scenario 1: I'm out at a birthday dinner a month ago, at a nice restaurant where the dinner does not come free and that's fine. I give the guest of honour a nice and heartfelt gift along with a card which is appreciated and everything goes fine. Until the bill arrives and it was decided by the other guest that we would split it. I didn't want to be the ass that objects, but it was an extra 15 dollars to my bill I was not planning for when scrounging for Christmas presents. I would have gladly donated towards the dinner, but it was the expectation. I did not expect anyone to pay for my meal on mine, but that's just me. Maybe it's stingy, but it was a bit of a slap in the face after the expensive gift bought.

Scenario 2: I text someone. A day goes by, still no text back. They have updated their facebook or twitter, but no text. I understand some people are busy and not everyone has a witty reply or something to say. And that not everyone has their celly strapped to their side when eating/sleeping/bathing. But when you know someone is within constant range of their phone and they do not reply, it makes me stabby to a point of no return. Offensive, or just not expected?

Scenario 3: This one has been happening more frequently. You decide to have a social eve, so you invite a few friends out for drinks or dinner or whatever. They take that as an open invite to invite their friends. I'm all for meeting new people, and if you want to bring someone along, go for it. That's always a good time especially at social events. But recently there was a get together at a local watering hole and a couple guests took it upon themselves to invite no less than four friends of theirs. This lead to having no room at the table so that people that were originally asked to meet up had to leave. Is it wrong to think it's rude when someone takes it upon themselves to invite their friends to an event, even if it is in a public place and it was an open invite via facebook? I don't want people to feel out of place, but also feel there's a certain point when it becomes rude and also the person should mention it first.

Scenario 4: You are making small talk with someone at the coffee line up, elevator, etc. I'm the queen of small talk and have this uncanny ability to manage to talk fashion with strangers (which is odd being that I'm not fashionable). But lately I've found simply asking someone about their day/the weather has lead to the person leading into their sob story for no less than 3 minutes. Their kids are sick at home, their husband left them, the rent just got boosted which sucks cause hours got cut back at work. And not to sound like a complete heartless bitch, but really more often that not, I don't care. I just want to get my coffee from the line up without the awkward chat about court custody cases. I understand sometimes its loneliness, but seriously people need to think before they open their mouths. Discretion can be golden when I'm peeing in the stall next to you, and yes I've had it happen even there. Maybe it's heartless but I'm not a shrink.

These are just a few of the social boundaries I have noticed lately and have been up in the air about. Do you have an opinion about any of the above? What are your social grievances?

#Love Harder

I am so in love with the internet and the blogging community at 20sb right now, it's hard for words to express. Tears, elated gasps and grinning from ear to ear has done me a lot better as far as communication has gone today. Today has proved its more than words and html codes, it's about friendship and community and sticking up for each other. It's more than a moment, today we became a movement.



But this post isn't about me. It's about Brandy. I may not know her but one month ago she reached out to the Internet with a plea to pray for her boyfriend who had recently been diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma. Posts started dotting 20sb pages and people grasped out and wondered if there was any way to answer her pleas.

The quandry: We feel terrible. Just horrible. And oh so helpless… if only there was something we could DO for them.

The answer: Ummmm. Did you forget that WE ARE THE INTERNET?!?!!??! And also, Yes We Can!!!

The result: Brandy and your Hot Awesome Dude… this one’s for you. Love, The Internet.

So without further ado....the post I jacked from Ben/ Lilu and managed to melt into one. Talent? No. Just good ol' copywriting for a cause.


(These are the people who's lives I stalk daily On video. Singing.)




Our friend Brandy is a brilliant writer, a wonderful teacher, and a generous friend. And she is in love with a man who has just been diagnosed with multiple myeloma.

We are raising money for the Multiple Myeloma Research Fund in his name. For the price of a cinnamon dolce latte, half-caf, hold the whip, you can be part of an effort to cure a disease that affects approximately 750,000 people worldwide.

http://www.loveharder.org

Every dollar brings us a dollar closer to a cure. And every donation brings a sliver of hope to a girl who needs all the hope she can get.

What You Can Do

•Give. Be part of a worldwide effort to cure a disease that affects approximately 750,000 people worldwide. Every dollar helps.


•Pass it on. Forward this story to five people. Share this blog post. Become our fan on Facebook.


•Love harder. Life is short, love is unbending, and no one knows what could happen next. Tell someone you love them today.

Where Your Money Goes

•The American Institute of Philanthropy recently named The Multiple Myeloma Research Foundation one of the best organizations to give to in terms of their accountability and use of resources.


•By working closely with researchers, clinicians and partners in the biotech and pharmaceutical industry, the MMRF has helped bring multiple myeloma patients four new treatments that are extending lives around the globe.


•The MMRF has advanced twenty Phase I and Phase II clinical trials. They need your support to advance these clinical research programs and accelerate the development of better, more effective treatments.


•The MMRF's Multiple Myeloma Genomics Initiative recently became the first to sequence the multiple myeloma whole genome in its entirety.


•A whopping 98% of your donation to the MMRF will be used immediately to support high-priority multiple myeloma research.


•With diminishing funding for early stage drug development and the next myeloma treatments not expected to be approved until 2011, the MMRF desperately needs your help.

DONATE: http://www.loveharder.org/
CONTACT: theloveharderfund@gmail.com
FACEBOOK: http://facebook.loveharder.org
MORE INFO: http://www.themmrf.org

These are the people that made this happen: Go visit their blogs and love them hard: Maxie, Ben, Tia, Alexa, Kyla Roma, Sizzle, Rachel, Jessica, Rachael, Katie, EP, Courtney, Tipp, Nicole, Jamie Varon, Laurie, L G, Ashley Marie, Wishcake, Matt, Doniree, Chelsea, Lisa, that short chick, Princess Pointful, Derek, Jess, Marie, Jamie, Jenn, Ashley, Erin, Jessica, Renee, Allie, Grace, Rachel, Restaurant Refugee, Titania, Brad, Jolee, DC Princess, Patrick, and Deutlich.

Little Grasshopper

This little chunk o' the internet is where I have been known to shell out advice, mishaps and adventures for people to love by. I'd like to believe it's my civic duty to pass along to the public how to learn at a young age about alcohol tolerance, dating skills and life lessons about vibrators and gag reflexes.You're welcome, really.

But the time has come where I'm turning to you,sitting cross legged, grabbing my notepad and taking notes as I have questions that need answering. I've contemplating a few changes of the blog, maybe some new curtains and disco ball, and I know that you will be the ones with the answers.

So with that in mind...for those bloggers out there, what do you find preferable; blogger or wordpress?

Is there are particular site (ip) tracker you use?

Is there any way to back up all your posts in blogger without the risk of losing everything/crying in a corner/hitting rock bottom?

For those who self host, do you need to be versed in the intenet to do so? (cause I'm not always computer literate. not at all.)

Is there any way I can become a millionaire off of blogging leading to days spent on the beach with my laptop?

How do you make those little hearts on facebook?

Is it just me or does twitter grow more addicting over time?

Healthy natchos; how do I make them?

BloggersinSinCity: a somewhat good idea, or an extremely good idea?

Is it bad to stop shaving your legs cause you're dating someone long distance and they won't see them anyways for a month at a time and you're lazy and its winter and you wear pants anyways?

Please, if you could shower me with answers for any of these I shall owe you my first born, or a hug, or a shot of tequila straight out of my cleav'. Any comment, an email, a drunk text is appreciated. Please, I promise I'll do my bext to take good notes, and shall repay the favour kindly. No, not in that way. Perverts.

TMI Thursday:Most Awkward Blogger, Indeed

We're in the final stretch of voting for the 20SB Bootlegger Awards, and I know I have to go big or go home. Up against heavyweight bloggers like Lilu, Jenn, Phampants and Wishcake, I really do feel like the underdog. The dark knight. Or is it dark horse? Either way something dark. Like wet jeans that chafe your crotch. So to bring out the big guns I'm giving you what may be my worst TMI Thursday yet. Enjoy! (Unless you're my mom in which case, please stop reading. It's for your own good.)




When I was twenty I moved to Terrace, B.C. to go to college which was lamens terms for drink a lot and not go to class. We'd all get sexyfied up up and go out to the bar for vodka slimes and paralyzers every Friday and although picking up men was not the goal, they were always nice to look at.

Until one night when looking turned to touching. His name was Rick. I think. Meh, his name isn't important. The point is, I went home with him. Skanky, no? No. Not so much. You see cause at that point I had my virginity in one iron clad fist and someones blue balls in the other hand. I didn't want to give it out to just anyone, so instead I went home with men for heavy petting. Yes, I was the 'Everything But Girl'. In retrospect, why I was not raped, shanked and left for dead is beyond me. Stupid, stupid girl.

But anyways, I digress.

We got back to Rick's place and after some heavy making out and a couple layers of clothing coming off I decided to use him as practise for the blow job skills that Cosmo had been instructing me about earlier. I was really excited as at that point I'd only ever given one bj in my life for a man that couldn't quite salute the flag so I was excited to have a willing member to play with. And it was, well. A blow job. What can you expect?

The only thing is Cosmo had never told me that sometimes while your focusing on sucking and moving and tongue action and hand placement is that guys sometimes like to push on your head. Even when you have a bad gag reflex. Even when you've had one too many China White Shooters. Yeah, you know where I'm going with this.

He pushed on my head. And I puked all over his junk.... And groin. ...And sheets.

The good news is that we were in the dark and his reaction time was a little slow so while he was figuring out what the wet was and where it came from, in the dark I'd managed to grab for my clothes and just run. I've never run so fast out of a place. And that lead to the drunken walk 45 minutes home at five in the morning without shoes.

But you can make damn sure I've never made that same mistake again. The ten words every man needs to know are "You push on my head. I puke on your dick."

The end.

If you think that's awkward, feel free to go here and vote me for Most Awkward Blogger!

Twitterpated

You know that guy whose face I may have missed kissing on our first date before running off? Well needless to say I got that kiss at midnight and a whole lot more.

I think this is going to be a good year, I can feel it.

Oh and he reads this blog, so if everyone can say hello to him; I'm going to refer to him as Radioactive Guy (inside joke). But Awesome Guy works too.

2009

Whereas I keep seeing posts and facebook statuses kicking 2009 to the curb and slamming the door it its face, I can't do the same. It's not that I'm clinging to 2009 as I'm not I just don't have any bad feelings for the year. You see, 2009 was the year that things started to come together.

Don't get me wrong here, I'm still awkward and say the wrong things and have no concept of fashion or home decoration and I don't see any of those things drastically changing when the clock strikes twelve. And the last year has had its moments of kicking my ass; food poisoning times three, the Hiney flu, trips gone awry and fights with friends that were painful not proactive. Lonely nights and questioning finances and career aspirations are subject matters that have all nibbled at my achilles heel over the last twelve months.

But somehow last year on this day I was looking forward to the year because it was going to be what I made of it. For one of the first times since I started my twenties I sat down and asked myself what I really wanted. Not for dinner, or to wear to a party, but out of life. The heavy stuff. Fresh from a breakup and still licking my wounds, I vowed to start over and to start fresh. And so I did.

Most of the changes have been small but they have been there. The old me would have not jumped on a plane to another country for a vacation as it would be deemed too irrational and luxurious. The old me would have found another way to cancel plans of jumping out of a plane. The old me would still be telling herself that anxiety disorder is just another thing to deal with by yourself since noone will ever understand it. The old me would have quit blogging when push come to shove, and been embarrassed about her awkwardness. The old me would have told you how much she knew about life and waxed poetics about it rather than realizing just how much she has left to learn.

Don't get me wrong, on the surface most of these changes are minimal and internal but they are there, and I don't see it stopping in 2010. I don't think that when the champagne toasts are over and the the ball has dropped, I'm going to be miraculously a better person. I'm not going to suddenly start going to the gym just so I can pat myself on the back for sticking to a goal. I'm just going to smile, give air kisses and slowly and surely keeping working on my list for 2010.

2010 doesn't need to be better than 2009 and I don't have any false illusions that by the grace of God, I'm suddenly going to fall in love or have things tie up in a neat package with a bow. My credit card balances will still not be at zero. I still don't have a plan for retirement and I'm never gonna bake that perfect cake. But with an open mind and an empty heart I'm ready for 2010 and all it brings.

Top Ten Most Awkward Blog Posts

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Merry Christmas Everyone

(Jacked from someone's myspace page who clearly already jacked it off www.someecards.com )

So far this holiday I've found what it's taken to bring out the belated holiday spirit is chilling at the parents place in beautiful Tumbler Ridge, B.C (I make it way too easy to stalk me)eating a shitload of food, watching girly movies and staying away from my parents computer of doom with their dial up internet (the dvd player is powered by a hamster running on a wheel). Since I prob won't be posting again til closer til the New Year, have a great holiday and drink lots of 'nog, hug someone you're close to (but that you know. Don't be creepy.) and spread a little cheer like an Attention Defecit Carebear, m'kay?

Merry Christmas,
Pirate Meghan

My Mom Is On Facebook

And for some reason won't add me. Booo. I wonder if it's cause profile pictures like these....

and....these...

oh and can't forget...



And status updates like these....



Meghan L is wondering if a lapdance will help her get onto Santa's nice list, or if it'll push her farther onto the naughty one.

Meghan L refuses to get sick this week. Germs need to respect that I am a busy woman with no time for their nonsense.

Meghan L thinks Christmas shopping would be far more acceptable if I was allowed to fight through the crowds with a flamethrower and had a constant IV hookup of Ativan. Or Moonshine.

Meghan L has mistletoe on her belt.

Meghan L is dreaming of a white Christmas....white beaches, white swooshing waves, white...

Meghan L isn't on Team Edward or Jacob, she's on Team Jailbait With No Shirts On.

Meghan L declares herself the Director of Caffinated Things. Praise me as your morning savior.

Meghan L is Trixie Firecracker.

Meghan L doesn't take nicely to the term 'Cougar' and prefers 'Dried Up Sex Panther', thankyouverymuch.

Meghan L wants a drink and it's only 9am. New high or new low?

Meghan L has taken to piecing together the night with photographs, text logs and bank transactions.

Meghan L is on her third cup of coffee and tweaking like Lindsay Lohan on a Tuesday night. Chamomile tea will be her downer.

Meghan L would like her order of pasta to come with a side of stretchy pants.

Meghan L is wondering if getting the H1N1 vaccine if you've had it already is kinda like trying to screw back your virginity.

Meghan L went grocery shopping this eve. Caught a whiff of weed down the snack aisle. Immediately had the urge to add m&m's to the cart. Well played Save On, well played.

Meghan L is going to taking up ballet AND kickboxing. So she can look graceful while kicking your ass.

Bah-Humbug

Remember that time I was all blogging is the best thing in the world and I can't wait to tell you everything about my life on a day to day basis and have so much to say and....*Poof Gone*. Yeah..... that was good times.

It seems this is the anticlimax of Nablopomo, as suddenly I have nothing to share despite there being no lack of foddler so I'll just try to break it down into segments....

*****
Usually I'm that person you wanna shank with a candy cane come December as I piss out christmas cheer. But this year I have none of it. Eggnog and christmas baking isn't bringing it out and I'm still staring at the box of Christmas cards rather than writing in them. Despire planning, not all presents have been purchased, plans are not concrete and so forth. I'm not going to blame commercialism, or the lack of snow as it's more of a feeling of just... meh. The cheer hasn't come yet and I'm not quite sure what's going to jump start it.

*****
Every year for the past handful of years there has been a loose tradition where no matter what the family is upto we all go to my parents place for the holidays. Plain and simple. This year my brother refuses to go due to schoolwork due early in the new year and his new girlfriend has to work christmas eve. This annoys me endlessly. We have never feigned to be that close, but it's the one time of year where we all try to get together and pretend to be a happy suburban family. We eat dinner and open presents and watch movies and chill one week of the year. But my brother can't even feign that this year. I can't say how many years when I was in school that I dragged books home over the holidays to work on essays and readings. And suddenly because after fourteen years of procrastinating, he's decided to go to school and get a job suddenly 'noone knows the stress he's under'. Despite people rearranging their schedules based on his. Despite the fact that everyone around him seems to be able to make it work. He can't do anything that inconvienences him for one week. One fucking week.

*****

The roads are safe once again as I parked my car for the winter (it's a summermobile) and have joined the ranks of those who take public transportation. Yes, public transportation (it only works if you say it outloud with a sneer. try it. like this...)


Sexy, no?

Now as much as we all know public transportation is really just a fancy reminder to get your hep shots and not talk to strangers this week I've actually found there are a couple upsides to it. If you're a young professional and you take the bus, you are by default going to be one of the sharpest dressed on there hands down. Also for all nostalgia of wishing I could go back to my college days I am quickly reminded that I don't miss the 30lb backpacks that came with it. Also if you keep your Ipod on and give people the shifty eyeball, they tend to leave you alone. Ex) Yeah, I'm listening to the Little Mermaid soundtrack; you got a problem with that? Didn't think so. Also it has been helping me not buy so much crap as I don't want to walk to the store just to get a cookie. Usually I am that lazy ass that will drive to the store to pick up ice cream when I crave it, even if it's 11pm at night. Not so easy when you're taking the bus.

*******

This last weekend I knocked off one of the scariest things from my list of 101 things to do in 1001 days. Being that I sang kareoke, all by myself at a pub. How was it, you ask? Somewhere in between William Hung and a cat in heat. But I did it. I sang 'Sweet Caroline' and gave it my all to a crowded pub on a Saturday night and it was terrifying but at least no tomatoes were thrown.

That's about it from Meghanworld, any particular thing that you do to jump start the holiday bandwagon?

Drumroll, Please

Doesn't Jessica look impressed to be helping me out?

I don't know how to do those fancy status shuffles as far as contests go, so instead went the old fashioned way. By harrassing Jessica (the front desk wondergoddess) at work to draw papers from a jar. As you can see it was impartial as I was too busy using the workplace camera to take pictures.

And the winner is.....



At Oh! How Lovely!. Email me yo' address to piratemeghan at hotmail dot com so I can stalk you. I mean send you presents. Thanks to everyone else who entered my first ever giveaway. If I could I'd give each and every one of you lapdances and tequila shots. But lets save that for the 20SB 2010 meetup, okay?

Stick a Fork in It, Cause I'm Done

With NaBloPoMo. 30 posts. 30 days. Thanks for sticking it out with me. Even though at some point the posts were a bit painful to write, and certainly even more painful to read, it was well worth it.

It was an amazing writing exercise that allowed me to stop stressing so much about each post being "spot on" and just enjoy sharing the sometimes silly, sometimes melancholy thoughts that run through my head. If a post sucks, it doesn't mean I suck at life and should shut down my blog. Wait til another day and click the publish button. If a post doesn't get tons of comments, oh well, write another one and maybe that one will resonate with readers.

Not every post has to have a theme or a happy ending or a corresponding photo and that's alright. As well, comments are gifts, not validation. I appreciate everyone who has stuck with me for the last month, and it allowed me to focus more on the writing rather than watching comments build until I find it to be a suitable number. I would encourage anyone to do it at some point, and if you do you know I'll read along to see what all you have to say. Does this mean I'm going to continue posting daily? Hells to the no. But does this mean I'm going to strive for consistency in writing and commenting? Yes. So all in all the mission was a success.

Also a shoutout to my girl Paula who managed to conquer NaBloPoMo as well. You're a rock star, and a terrific writer and I'm proud of you girl.

Tis The Season

To elbow people at malls, go to ugly sweater parties and finally get rid of that god awful Movember mo' that's making my guy friends look like Where's Waldo with a restraining order.

Oh, and of course Christmas stuff. When not suckling at the teet of Starbucks Eggnog Lattes in their fiery cups I've been know to enjoy a mulled wine or two. Or in the case of last year's workplace Christmas banquet, a bottle or two. Followed by tucking the skirt into my nylons. In the front. And chatting with the boss and his wife.

Yeah. Anyways.

So I thought since it's the season of sharing I'd show you a few of my personal holiday drink recipes from my liquor stash so that you can report back with your own trainwrecky stories of mistletoe stapled to belts and making out with the janitor at your own workplace soiree.

Rum Eggnog
1 container of store bought eggnog.
Good quality amber rum
A glass.

Pour rum into the bottom of a glass. Roughly one third of the glass, but more or less to taste. Add eggnog. Be festive and add a sprinkling of nutmeg. Not too much, that shit is potent. Stir and enjoy.

Mulled Wine
1 bottle of red wine. Don't get all fancy shit on me, the 7$ bottle will do.
1 cup apple cider. Without alcohol. We're making mulled wine, not moonshine.
A blob of honey. No more, no less.
A small handful of cloves. Note I have tiny hands.
A handful of cinnamon sticks.
Some orange slices.

Throw all ingredients into a pot, and simmer on the stove for 20 minutes. Note I say SIMMER. The heat must be low or the alcohol will burn out and then you might as well feed it to the dog or get high on the leftover nutmeg from the eggnog.

Candycane Martini
Vodka.
Peppermint schnapps.
Candy Cane for garnish.

Measure out 3 ounces of vodka. Put two into a martini glass. Take the other one as a shot. Don't be a pussy, do it. Burns right? But in a good way. It's okay to like it.Throw in one ounce of peppermint scnapps. Use a candy cane as garnish and to stir your drink. Cause you're classy like that.

I hope these recipes fair you well into the New Year and encourage you to go to your local mall and sit on Santa's lap and tell him whatcha really want for Christmas.

P.S. Don't forget the giveaway on my 200th post is still open til Wed night.

Hello, Is Anybody Out There?

Between American Thanksgiving and Black Friday it seems like blogger world is quiet right now. Of course this is the weekend I pick to do a giveaway. Figures.

Shrug.