1+1=?

There's one thing my friends don't know about me. My family sure doesn't. My boyfriends haven't, and my lov-ah's won't. Period. My sexual number.

To me it's not relevant for anyone to know. Sex is personal involving two (or sometimes if you're a kinky bitch...not like me) or more people. I don't tell because of the judgement involved with teling 'the number'. And don't act as if you don't judge as everyone does it. I have.

I remember being virginal and nineteen (yes I was a late bloomer into the sex world) and talking with a coworker. She flippantly mentioned how she had sex with seven people in her life. I gasped audibly as to how someone could have so little self respect as to have more than one or even two partners in their sexual life. I also have associated a thought pattern of judging a person based on the number. Aka "Hi Meghan!" "Hi Anonymous person!" (all you can think about screaming in your head is "they've had sex with 56 people gross!")

I remember when starting to have sex holding a bar to others. Well I may have had ______ partners but this person has had _____. I'll never be as bad as they are!

Wow, I've been a judgemental bitch.

Maybe it's a cop out not telling people my number. My best friends don't know and they won't. It doesn't matter. I have a don't ask don't tell policy when dating. I don't care what a guy's number is. I don't care if it's the second time he's had sex or he's been with an entire swedish cheerleading squad. The point is as long as he is safe, then it doesn't matter. He's with me at that point and it's what counts. The same goes as far as myself. A guy shouldn't care about who I've been with, he should be secure enough to know that I'm with him exclusively and that's what matters.

Also in the same vein of topic, does a number define promiscuity/sluttiness or is that best left elsewhere. Ex.) I have known people that have had a lot of sex with multiple partners I would not consider slutty. And I've met virgins who I have sneered at and found to be sexually deviant. To myself sluttiness is not defined by a number. Promiscuity maybe but not sluttiness. Sluttiness in my definition is having sexual encounters that are disrespectful to yourself or others.

For example a virgin who makes a play for another girl's boyfriend is sluttier in my eyes than someone who is enjoying casual sex and is making their intentions clear to all involved. Cheating, lying, going for someone taken, manipulation are all stronger forms of sluttiness to me than a sexual number.

Not that you're going to know mine....

What's your food for thought on the topic?