Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Classifieds

I warned her is she didn't shape up I'd post this! Maybe now she'll start taking me more seriously...


Slightly used cat looking for a home to terrorize.
Answers to the name of Tinkerbell. ( Coney, Tink, Tinky, Tinkwhorebell, Trogdor the Burninator)
Will look cute as a button, puke on the floor, then continue to look cute as a button while you clean up the puke. Then meow because she's hungry.
Is scared of airconditioners, the vet, and the toilet flushing.
Will whore herself out for anyone within petting distance.
Hogs beds and couches but is great for spooning on a cold day.
Loves attention, cat treats and hair elastics to add to the collection under the fridge. Is sworn enemies with her tail.
Will meow if you step into the kitchen, make food or eat food. But does not like people food.
Will play ONLY between the hours of 11:00pm-2:00am. Even if you are sleeping. Even if it means having apartment neighbours bang on the wall because she's knocking things into the wall.
Wants to be petted, but will scratch you if you pet her two seconds longer than she see's fit.
Gloves will come with cat. Likes to play in cat litter and scoop it onto the kitchen floor to roll in. Swiffer coupons come with.
If interested enquire within at piratemeghan (at) hotmail.com. Only interested applicants need apply.

20 comments:

Mike said...

I'll take her only if she's completely shaved to be hypoallergenic and easier to make into chicken balls.

moooooog35 said...

If you add something like:

"Makes excellent baiting for dog fighting"

..or...

"Am told it tastes like chicken"

..you might get some more responses from the International crowd.

Good luck!

Jamie said...

Dude. Want to guest blog for me in a couple weeks? Email me yo!

lotus07 said...

We already have 5 of them....they are such terrors, that we got a dog just to punish them.

Meghan said...

Mike- you're completely evil. That's awesome. Lets makeout.

Mooooog-Tinkerbell would KILL at UFC. She's like a cat-ninja.

Jamie- helllls yeah! Gonna email you on me next work break, homes.

Lotus- can I borrow your dog?

Paula said...

Aw she's adorable. Last time I went anywhere near a cat though one of my eyes swelled up and I looked like cyclops for a day, so I'll pass, cheers! :)

Lad Litter said...

You're not gilding the lily at all, are you? Some people might take your cat on because they believe they could train its bad habits away. And then two weeks later you'd find it deposited back on your doorstep.

Tricia said...

She is soooo cute! :)

Meghan said...

Paula-beware Tink then. She senses people with allergies and makes a point of drolling/rolling on them.

Lad Litter- I have no idea what that comment about the lily means, but agree she will always end up on my doorstep.

Tricia- She works it.

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

I love it! So does Alex the cat who owns me.

Meghan said...

Nick-I think Alex and Tink would take over the world together if they had thumbs.

jenny said...

that's funny as shit. you two are adorable.

maverick said...

lol...cat classified....only if i was in canada :D

The Chronicles of a Fashionista in PDX said...

I'd take her, but I don't want to pay for extra pet fees :(

Jenny said...

Naaw, she is very cute though. Lol.
I would want to take her, only because of her cutenesses and also she reminds me of the pussy cat in Shrek. Hihi
Too bad my sister, who I'm living with, is seriously allergic against cats. :'(

Meghan said...

Jenny-thanks. we practise the adorable pose in the mirror every night. It's very Zoolanderesque.

Maverick- I'll ship her Fedex.

Fashionista- turn her into a pet model to compensate the cost.

Jenny-it's funny you say that cause when she's at her most evil she looks the most like Puss in Boots.

Lad Litter said...

Sorry Meghan! bartleby.com - To adorn unnecessarily something that is already beautiful or perfect: “Lad Litter had us all believing his tall tale until he couldn’t resist gilding the lily."

Lad Litter said...

...and I just realized I used the phrade incorrectly as well. Apologies. My brain was having an out of body experience.

Meghan said...

Lad Litter- out of body experience? Sounds like my brain before coffee.

TaraMetBlog said...

aww! you showed her! I miss having a kitty, can you please help me convince my fiance that he does like cats, or at least will if we had one? *sigh*