I work in an office. A professional office that doesn't approve of my suggestions of "no pants" Fridays and 'Hookers and Blow' Wednesdays. An office with ties and business suits, conference calls and meetings with Head Office.
An office where work gets done, and although jokes happen amongst the staff they are not frequent nor appreciated by a lot of people. It's a place filled with soccer mom's and almost retire-ees.
So since it was one of the first (exciting) times for me to go to a regional office get together on Friday, you're going to have to fill me in on a few things.
Is it couture to discuss getting a pap smear from a guy that looks like Santa? And how it's the best grooming look to have a landing strip for the occasion?
People like it when you show your trick of shoving a drink down your shirt and drinking it right? And offer to show the leg behind the head trick.
Office mates love it when you discuss your joke "O" face and show it to them. It involves crossed eyes and me tongue sticking out. And declaring it dead sexy.
It's a good thing to talk about stories about streaking and how you've been known to "inhale" on occasions. And tell stories of getting high on 'shrooms back in the day. And how it's been a long time since you've gotten laid.
Cause if so, I wowed them Friday. If not, it's time to start drinking water at office functions.