Ever have that kind of date?
Yeah, I've had many of them. In fact, some would say I've become desensitized to bad dates.
There was the blind date who told me my education was crap because I didn't go to an Ontario University.
There was the date that was soooo boring and pretentious and judgemental I faked lesbianism part way through as my only means of escape.
There was the date where I giggled at his habit of fidgeting and questioned "Are you an ADD kid or something?" and he went straightfaced and explained how he has been on Ritalin for a few years.
And of course there was the date that made out with another girl in front of me!
But none of these prepared me for my date today.
K, long story short I have heard a few stories,both success and horror, in relation to online dating sites. I have done the quick browse as a guest. I have pondered and finally I took the plunge. Now despite my profile having specifics such as 'no children, drug free, 27-37, career focused' I have had a plethora of men in their fourties of men with children flooding my inbox.
But throughout the blurry pics and vague group shots I actually received a msg from a guy who was very attractive. Check. Career focused. Check. Down to earth, check. And wanted to meet me for coffee.
As we were to meet bright and early this morn to go for coffee I made sure to look my best. Hair straightened and nicest jeans to go with heels. Something that is presentable but nothing that would scream "maintain me!" And I met him for coffee. He was very polite and nervous but there was something different about him from the pictures he sent.
He was missing his front teeth. And then some.
Apparently all the pictures had been the closed lips sort of smile.
Call me vain, call me shallow, hell call me what you will but I knew in two seconds that it would not work out. I debated actually going "you know you seem nice, but I'm not gonna waste your time" but then realized how scarring it would be to have a guy walk upto me and after a glance tell me it wasn't gonna work before sauntering out the door. Nope, an hour and a half is what I was gonna give him.
Don't get me wrong, I'm pretty damn girl next door and am not completely vain when it comes to men. I think things like crooked noses add character and scars and things can make a person individual. But dental hygiene is something that is very important. There are amazing advances in dentistry now. Teeth are important for chomping on yummy things, that I know. In fact I strongly remember my friend Raffi having ingraining a little song about "You brush your teeth- ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch!!!!!!!!! into my head like a druid chant by the time I was seven.
We chatted about travel experiences and weekend plans and I made certain not to give information that would be too personal. All the while I was trying my damdest not too look at the vortex of his mouth. Do you know how hard that was for 75 minutes? All the while he's telling me about how he just got out of a 5 year relationship and how excited he is to meet me. And I'm thinking how I'm never going to go out with him again. I'm a horrible person.
Needless to say when I came home I decided that a subtle reaction would be best so I deleted my lavalife account after yelling "Fie, fie on you Lavalife. I asked for for creme brule and you gave a floor twinkie!" and like the groundhog that saw his shadow I'm back to slink into my undating hole for another 6 weeks.