Sunday, March 9, 2008

Not Another Boring Business Trip...

I thought it wad gonna be another boring one and was dreading going. I mean it would be nice to see people from other campuses that I adore, but all in all I was sure that the days would be spent trying not to stab my eyes out from sheer workshop boredom and the night spent reading in my hotel room.

I was wrong.

Within the first ten minutes of arriving at the super posh hotel I was handed a drink....followed by a shot of tequila which I did with the (scary and powerful) Company President. Holy fuck toto, we're not on Campus anymore. We all laughed and talked and had a couple drinks. Then I heard the magic words which set the tone for the next 3 days.

All drinks are on us. (us being the company/expense account).

People looked around nervously as if 'is this for real'? It was. But being classy I decided that I would not take advantage of the generous offer. So I only ordered enough alcohol to fill a bathtub, NOT a pool. I'm good like that.

Night one....tequila shots with my main boss, tequila shots with peeps from the Victoria campus, having a conversation with the guys in the tech support aspect about Microsoft Access coding that would bore most to tears. Getting ushered out of the bar at closing. Setting 3 alarms to make sure that I would be at the conference for the 7:30 am sign up time.*

Conference Day 2- Group cheers. Lame. Company bonding games. Super lame. Singing the company's song. Shoot me in the face now. Networking with the bigwigs, meh not so bad. Later part of the day, actually having an interesting and informative meeting with the bosses from Head Office.That's what I'm talking about.

Post conference I snuck out and hit the downtown core of Funcouver for drinks and a swanky meal with one of my main homegirls. It's funny how even at one of the classier steakhouses (yes I'm a vegetarian) in the city we still managed to converse about anal sex and threesomes. I even managed to face my fear of escalators** and tackled Granville St. skytrain station which has the steepest escalator (and possibly the longest) in the world. But I did give up any shred of trying to maintain a sophisticated city gal demeanor when I started hyperventalating and white knuckled it up. Even the crazy guy behind me was giving me weird looks.

Back to the hotel with the good intentions of having one drink with my coworkers then retiring for the evening. Cute concept though, right?

Started out by hanging with the bigwigs. You know you're doing something right when you're sitting at a table with; Company President, Your Head Office Boss, Your Office Boss and 2 other Head Office peoples. Very nice, very nice. Then I ran into a couple of the partiers from other campuses who managed to kidnap me to their room for a drink. The next few hours got blurry, but this I can say...I saw a hotel room get trashed rock star style ***, we invented a new game called 'the elevator drinking ride', security didn't like the game as much, I consumed more shooters than humanely possible, I danced it up with head office people. ****I made it to my room after 3 am when I had another wakeup call at 7am. Fuck.

Day 3- kill me now. Debating sleeping underneath the conference table. Longest 4 hours of my life. Slept in the car on the way home. When home...dropped my bags and slept for 13 hrs straight. Now today I'm trying to catch up on blog readings, laundry and may even debate getting groceries.

* It's cruel fate to have drinks on the house and have it start at 7:30 am. Just cruel.

** Shut up we all have our own fears.

***I didn't trash the room and didn't condone it. But I have to say it was pretty freakin awesome to witness.

***Pics will be posted soon as words just don't do this post justice.


PrincessPolly said...

"we're not on campus anymore!" brilliant! oh how I laughed! thanks for that. :)

maverick said...

u seem to have a good time...great going...good u enjoyed... updated :)

The Chronicles of a Fashionista in PDX said...

LOL That sounded awesome! I wish I was there! Your drinking-fest was way better than mine in LA! :)

Glad you had fun! ;)

Maxie said...

sounds like a freakin awesome trip! I wanna work where you work...way cooler than my business trips

Mike said...

Hijinx and debauchery, all on the company tab?

Steak and threesomes and anal sex..

AND pictures to come?

OOOOO How I can't wait ;)

Just make sure you put a giant NSFW and three dozen spaces before the pictures, k?

Meghan said...

Princess Polly-glad to give you a giggle. You;ve given me more than a few.

Maverick- I make it my motto to have a good time.

Fashionista- LA has glorious sunshine. Tough call.

Maxie- you're hired. You start Monday.

Mike- something tells me you've lived this story before ;) And thanks for the heads up.

surviving myself said...

i'm more qualified than Maxie! I'm probably not, but i want to come too.

Meghan said...

surviving myself-sure, we'll all carpool!

Roland Hulme said...

From the amount of spirits you apparently drank, it might be a good idea to steer clear of naked flames for a bit!

Funny story. How do you play the elevator drinking game?

Meghan said...

Roland- yeah it took a couple days of avoiding flames before my pores stopped reeking of booze.

And the elevator game...Go to the top (14th)flr of the speedy elevator, hit a couple stops on the way down and you have to have your giant drink finished by the time you hit the bottom.

Speed round of the game-no stops, just ground floor. We tied up an elevator for the better part of an hr that way hence security's issues with the game.

High maintenence if you ask me.