Friday, May 22, 2009

Time Heals all Wounds

So, I ran into the one ex a few weeks back. Like, literally almost ran into him. And his reaction was to jump, and give a haphazard smile before turning and running in the other direction.

I love when I have that reaction with men.

And the sad thing is, I was the one to say hello despite the fact that almost six months later (not to mention the fact that I am somewhat involved with someone now) seeing him still makes me feel like throwing up. It literally knocks the wind out of me and my stomach does a fair ride flip.

Not fun.

But then last night, I was driving throughout town when at a stoplight, I saw a familiar face pulled up next to mine. The ex that three years ago ripped out my heart and threw it in a blender. The one that left me for a friend/coworker and was (part of) the reason I ended up on strong antidepressants. The one that made it feel physically ill to go to work every day and see them together and prompted me to leave that job to get the one I have now. The one that lied and manipulated and took advantage of my anxiety to paint a picture of paranoia rather that confess his wandering. The one I hated for embarrassing me publicly and couldn't be in the same room with.

And the thing is when I saw him, he smiled and waved. And I smiled and waved back. No anger. No tears. No nothing. Just a nod of recognition before heading on my way.

One day, down the road I'll get there with G. Not any time soon, but one day.


Mike said...

If I were you, I would have pooped on his windshield.

You know, only if he wasn't into that.

Hey, who am I to judge? People are weird.

Angela said...

Time heals all wounds!

Hillary said...

Urgh - I hate exes. They should be banned. My office is literally 6 blocks from my ex's office. The city is busy enough that I don't see him often but whenever I do, I feel like someone punched me in the gut.

Slyde said...

you were talking about ME in this post, werent you?

Paula said...

It's weird isn't it? How DO we get over people? I know I've managed it, but at the time . . . who knows! Like this guy right now . . . I don't know if we're broken up or not but I'm still wondering how I'm going to get over him. But I know I will. Cos I have before...

PorkStar said...

At least in your case it did not involve your spouse with your sibling, like in my case. Time will definitely not heal that wound for me, but it will certainly have me want to punch my brother when he returns from over seas... over and over again.

Lad Litter said...

I have two exes in my neighbourhood and it was all so long ago that blow me down if we aren't pleasant and friendly towards each other and ask after each others' families. Time and distance.

Random Musings Of My Life said...

Wow... But you did good considering

FoggyDew said...

My ex, who broke up with me because I didn't want to move from D.C. to San Fran, recently posted this status change: "Officially a D.C. resident!" when she moved in with the guy I was traded in for.

I'm thinking of a word, it has four letters.

Maxie said...

I'm not there with my ex from years ago...yet. Maybe some day. Or maybe not.

Meghan said...

Mike- he was on a motorcycle, would have made pooping on the windshield weird.

Angela- amen to that, sistah!

Hillary-unfortunately Kamloops is surprisingly small :(

Slyde- do you wanna be the one that cheated or the one that dumped me via text.

Paula- it never gets easier, but you just deal...cause you have to.

Porkstar-normally I don't believe in violence, but think this may be an exception. Ouch, sorry.

Lad Litter- I'm glad you have that. Surprisingly I'm still good friend with most my exes.

Random- thanks, darling :)

FoggyDew- Faaaaack (not four letters, but works)

Maxie- there's some that it's never going to be "okay" with, and I'm okay with that.

Sarah K said...

I am ashamed that I can't remember who three-years gone ex is.

Also, I'm ashamed that we've been out of touch enough that I don't know about this semi-involvement of yours.

We need margaritas.

Candy's daily Dandy said...

Sounds like you are well on your way. Maturity kinda creeps up on you like that.


Roland Hulme said...

Ha! I so sympathize with this post. I ran into an ex girlfriend on Facebook and BAM! It hit me hard - all goosebumps and butterflies, even though I hadn't spoken to her in almost a decade.

It's amazing how much hold people from your past can have on you.

But I liked the uplifting story about your other ex - we'll all get there eventually.

Love your new profile pic, by the way. One word for it: Meeeow.

Anonymous said...

i'm glad i only have one ex from high school. he did a number on me, broke up with me after one and a half years for a freshman girl while we were seniors. douche. it's been about 4 years, and now i'm in a relationship that i hope never ends and will be my last, but i hate when we're doing something together and i remember something about my ex. i don't want him to be a part of my new life in any way and i don't know how to just forget him or make the stupid memories go away.

maybe i'm not drinking enough...(i kid, i kid)

Rebekah said...

Heart thrown in blender? Check.
Strong antidepressants and bipolar-controlling medications? Check.
Psychiatric leave of absence? Check.

It's been 2 and a half years since Tim and I broke up - we're friends now but God, there are some times when he still gets to me and I either want to jump him or kick his butt because I still feel a wee bit bitter. It was super-hard for the first year and a half.

But it's better. Slowly better. And hearts can unblend and mend. Just slog on through and yours will too.

Ed said...

It is funny how people pretend that it is normal. But you can never really look at someone the same way after fucking them really...

I think with the one ex that I left, ended it badly with, I'd still avoid if I could. She is the one I cheated on for my present partner that I've been with for 11 years now. I had guilt, horrible dreams for a year after that.

In another instance I was three timing, in weird circumstances: the second woman knew about the first, and the third woman knew about the other two, and the first was just using me for sex. The funny thing was when I ended it with the third woman, as I felt like a total bastard and I had decided that I'd like to give it a shot with the second woman, the first woman promptly ended it, then the second told me that she was seeing another woman and she'd really like to explore that relationship.

So the really funny thing was that I ended up friends with the second woman who was bi who broke up with me, but not really friends with the other two, although I'd say they would not try to avoid me and I would not try to avoid them.

Anyway, all that experience proved was that no matter how much you want to be with someone it doesn't matter unless they want to be with you in the same way (or ballpark area).

I think people fool themselves into thinking 'I can make this work, if only I really love him/her..' Especially women. Your own love does not matter, or make one pinch of shit difference unless they love you back.

If not, then it is just fucking and you may as well just try and enjoy it.

Racquel Valencia said...

Ugh, I feel you. There's this one guy who did a number on me in the fall and sometimes I still catch myself stalking his Facebook or (worse) sending drunken texts to the tune of "why you gotta play me like that??"

Meghan said...

Sarah-we'll catch up over marg's.

Candy-thanks :)

Roland-haha, thanks. You always say the right words :)

wekeepsaying-drinking helps everything!

Rebekah-it's nice to know after all the trauma you and Tim are able to be friends. That's maturity :)

Ed- wise words, and good ones to help move on. Thanks.

Racquel- you always make me laugh while drinking something and it usually ends up on my laptop screen.