I Like Birthday Bumps

Guess what Thursday is? July 2nd. Also known as the day that I entered the world 29 years ago aka MY BIRTHDAY! But 29 has an uncomfortable ring to it so this year I am celebrating my 28th birthday Version 2.0. So rather than having a post where I talk about how much I learned over the year and how I'm going to manage the steep decline to 30 without self medication and wine(answer: I'm not), I'm just gonna blabber 'bout 29 random factoids bout myself for you to ponder over and wonder why I'm allowed this little space on the interwebs for myself.

1.) I am a horrible driver to the point that they call me 'Crash' at work. I have to date; ran over a railway crossing sign with my parents new SUV, fender bendered a Mercedes, hit a parked jeep, totalled an ex boyfriends car by hitting his friends car, hit another car that the girl had bought off the lot not only two hours before, rolled my car on the Coquihala and hit the cement stopper for parking every single day.

2.) So would it really be a surprise to see that I have been nominated twice for the show Canada's Worst Drivers?

3.) I love Diet Coke and hate Regular Coke but love Regular Pepsi and hate Diet Pepsi.

4.) Speaking of I live off fake sugar and Splenda is a godsend. I know reports have shown it's horrible for you, can cause early alheimers and pretty much rots your brain. But sugar rots your teeth and I can see my teeth whereas I can't see my brain so fake sugar wins.

5.) I don't like getting it on in the dark. Too dark. Candlelight or lamps, please.

6.) I just played my first ever game of beer pong last week.

7.) I tend to have trust issues with women more than men even though I've been cheated on by men.

8.) If you're a guy and you're cute, I've probably imagined us having sexytime together.

9.) I like porn. There. I said it.

10.) I am the worst singer you'll ever meet. But it doesn't stop me from belting out 'Small Town Girl' any time I ever hear it at a pub Every. Single. Time.

11.) I am fiercely loyal to the friends I have in my life, but I don't make friends easy. I have tons of acquantences but only a handful of really, really close friends.

12.) I only smoke when I drink. A pack of cigarettes will last me months and I'll freeze them or throw them out when they dry up. But will freak out if I don't have cigarettes on me. Cigarettes and beer are like ghetto wine and cheese.

13.) I'm the person people tend to open up to. I'm not sure why but people feel comfortable telling me all sorts of things. Friends. Strangers. It can be odd but also flattering.

14.) I had a stalker in second year college. Like a bonafide stalker, none of this half assed bullshit. He was never convicted and is still out there. I have made sure not not have a landline phone ever since and my address is not easily traceable.

15.) I worked for MTV Canada for one day years ago. I was deemed 'not cool enough' to work there full time. But it's okay. Cause I swiped food that was on the bands rider for the dressing room. Heh. Score one for eating Matt Good's cheese.

16.) I don't care how vulgar and uneducated it makes me sound, I fucken LOVE swearing.

17.) I want to meet one of those people where you stay up all night talking. They may only be in your life for a day but they will make an impact. It's been awhile since I've met one of those people.

18.) I don't floss regularly.

19.) I still can't call guys. Or if I do, I get completely nervous and clam up like I'm in highscool. It's a fear I've never outgrown.

20.) I have one tattoo on my back that is the japanese character for 'dreamer'. I plan on adding the characters for hope and strength this year.

21.) My favourite thing about myself is the fact that I am a natural redhead. I think we're special. Like an endangered species. I finally believe my mom when she says people would pay good money to have my hair.

22.) I would eat almost anything if it had cheese or chocolate on it.

23.) Even in my late twenties I still can't have foods touch each other on a plate. Every food has it's own special area on the plate and they are not friend with each other.

24.) I hate nightclubs. I like pubs. I like open mic sorts of bars or music venues, but hate nightclubs.

25.) I have twelve months to give all the people at 20SB a lapdance as a bribe to be a featured writer (lets be honest here. I'll do it either way).

26.) I never had my first "real" kiss until I was 18.

27.) If I comment on your blog and you don't comment on mine back I'lll take it personally.

28.) I have a knack for naming things. The laptop that died as of Sunday (water+laptops=not friends) was Winston(est 2005-2009). My car is Buzz Lightyear (cause it's an Infiniti). My vibrator was Travis (from blink182). My Blazer was Bessie (for the cow that died for the leather seats), and so forth.

29.) If I'm in an elevator by myself (not glass) I will do a dance but immediately stop when the doors open on any floor and them resume when it's just me again.

So since comments are my crack cocaine go on and give me a hit and throw me some comment love (and I mean you delurkers) to make my (birthday) day! Or just come here and I'll give you a piece of birthday cake.