Monday, June 8, 2009

Meghan is Funnier on Facebook

First off thanks for all the nice comments regarding the last post, I really appreciate them. I think everyone in this big 'ol blogosphere we gots going on can feel the self induced pressure from trying to be witty/deep/interesting sometimes and it's hard thing to admit when you've lost your blogging mojo. It really is a "it's not you, it's me" situation.

With that in mind, I'm not taking a break but the posts may be a bit scattered til I get the mojo back. And no I am not going to turn into a "writer"* as much I wish to be. Perhaps it was too much sun that made me forget my actual writing is the literary equivalent of lycra induced cameltoe on a hot day. Gross. Save the writing for bloggers like Peter DeWolf** who are good at it. And as Nick pointed out I'm (by blogging) already pretentious enough. Next thing you'll know I'll be posting about drinking oaked chardonnay at quaint Bistro's while reading Faulkner. Except this is me and it's more likely to be a box of the house white while eating day old pizza and reading the comics section of The Province.

But I digress.

Short of an artsy *** photo of my toes or something or an artsy**** poem about my cat don't expect anything big to be coming out of here any time soon. Instead I've just compiled a list of some of my facebook statuses for the last couple months as I find myself to be hilarious on facebook. Most others probably wouldn't agree. But that's why they're blocked and deleted.

Meghan L: sealegs or still drunk?

Meghan L is going on a motherf*&^%ing boat, wearing her flippy floppies....

Meghan L Shenanigans is your name? I'm Hijinks. Charmed I'm sure. Would you like to join my friend Friday in a sexy three way?.....

Meghan L: Hello Friday. You're looking mighty sexy. Would you like anything? A cold beer? A BJ?......

Meghan L 's air conditioner sucks. If anyone needs me I'll be hanging out in the fridge.

Meghan L ...and this headache today is sponsored by wine. Smooth, tasty wine. Pick some up from your liquor store today!

Meghan L admires children for their carefree attitude of swimming in the river with no concerns of duck mites and dead hookers.

Meghan L is too old to be jailbait, too young to be a cougar, so will settle for being a floozy.

Meghan L is bored and playing with superglue and can see no possibility of error in this plan.

Meghan L skipped yoga for pizza and found inner peace with that instead.

Meghan L just realized her neighbour has been staring at her. But rather than being creeped out is upto the challenge of staring back while mouthing "you're dead motherf*CKer"...

Meghan L 's favourite foods are the ones that require no dishes.

Meghan L is getting paid to disrobe in front of students and get massaged. I love my job.

Meghan L feels like Canucks are that token ex that doesn't get better in bed, but she keeps sleeping with anyways just out of hope and desperation.

Meghan L is starting to flex her drunk texting fingers......

Meghan L is going to extreme yoga tonight. Fight club seemed too tame.

Meghan L has a hot date with the sun. Get it? The sun? It's hot. Hah.

Meghan L is going to be reincarnated as an 80's hair band slut.

Meghan L has no voice anymore so will convey her opinions through body language,

And as of today...

Meghan L would like to spend all day on her back, in bed. Sleeping. Perverts.

* you totally called my bluff there
**A fellow Canadian blogger/writer who sorta intimidates me.


Maxie said...

"Meghan L 's favourite foods are the ones that require no dishes."


Anonymous said...

Have you read my post about FB status updates??

It makes for a good post when you can't think of anything else to say other than "Kelsey suffers from awesome" or "Kelsey wants to stab her co-worker in the eye, rip her stinky tongue out, and throw her in the trash can."

There is something theraputic about rage through FB status updates.

Racquel Valencia said...

OK, first off, I don't know this Nick guy, but I happen to read Faulkner, drink nice wines and still manage to be intellectually stunted, so whatever. Pretention is in, especially when coupled with total idiocy.

Also, I love your status updates. I almost never change mine, and when I do it tends to be something stupid. For example, right now it says I "wouldn't have had it any other way" in reference to my romantic NYC getaway. Note: this is a week old and there are many things I would have changed about the trip.

LiLu said...

"Meghan L is too old to be jailbait, too young to be a cougar, so will settle for being a floozy."

I love you, my dear.

Slyde said...

i still cant bring myself to talk to you...

did i mention that you're a wildcat?

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the kind words!

(And I'm really not intimidating. Promise.)

Mike said...

you disrobe for money?

Isn't that like prostitution?

Meghan said...

Maxie- It's so true though!

Kelsey- I think I may have to start following your lead :)

Racquel- blog about your trip

Lilu- the feeling's mutual.

Slyde- I bet you say that to all the girls.

Peterdewolf- haha, nice.

Mike- nope. Spa Therapy program needs 'bodies' to practise massage on and it's a job perk.

Nivelo said...

Myself and spaz use wordpress on hosted servers. But has pretty much the exact same system without all the fiddly code and database setup.

Amber (Girl with the red hair) said...

Haha, my favourite ones are Meghan skipped yoga for pizza and found inner peace with that and Meghan has a hot date with the sun! Hahahaha. You're quite witty on facebook!

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Delightful post! I'm so glad that I was able to drop by.

P said...

I have to admit I HAVE found many of your facebook updates hilarious. But I find your blog posts even more so - cos they're not condensed into a couple of sentences!

Meghan said...

Nivelo- definately debating taking the jump, thanks :)

Amber- pizza trumps yoga any days.

Sometimes Saintly Nick- thanks!

Paula- thanks lovely. And I love your facebook pics.