Wednesday, December 16, 2009

My Mom Is On Facebook

And for some reason won't add me. Booo. I wonder if it's cause profile pictures like these....

and....these...

oh and can't forget...



And status updates like these....



Meghan L
is wondering if a lapdance will help her get onto Santa's nice list, or if it'll push her farther onto the naughty one.

Meghan L refuses to get sick this week. Germs need to respect that I am a busy woman with no time for their nonsense.

Meghan L thinks Christmas shopping would be far more acceptable if I was allowed to fight through the crowds with a flamethrower and had a constant IV hookup of Ativan. Or Moonshine.

Meghan L has mistletoe on her belt.

Meghan L is dreaming of a white Christmas....white beaches, white swooshing waves, white...

Meghan L isn't on Team Edward or Jacob, she's on Team Jailbait With No Shirts On.

Meghan L declares herself the Director of Caffinated Things. Praise me as your morning savior.

Meghan L is Trixie Firecracker.

Meghan L doesn't take nicely to the term 'Cougar' and prefers 'Dried Up Sex Panther', thankyouverymuch.

Meghan L wants a drink and it's only 9am. New high or new low?

Meghan L has taken to piecing together the night with photographs, text logs and bank transactions.

Meghan L is on her third cup of coffee and tweaking like Lindsay Lohan on a Tuesday night. Chamomile tea will be her downer.

Meghan L would like her order of pasta to come with a side of stretchy pants.

Meghan L
is wondering if getting the H1N1 vaccine if you've had it already is kinda like trying to screw back your virginity.

Meghan L went grocery shopping this eve. Caught a whiff of weed down the snack aisle. Immediately had the urge to add m&m's to the cart. Well played Save On, well played.

Meghan L is going to taking up ballet AND kickboxing. So she can look graceful while kicking your ass.

28 comments:

Angela said...

hahaha My mom (and GRANDMA even!!) are on facebook. Both are my friends haha.

Bruce said...

Well, ....ah,....yeah.....I might not want my church group to know you were my spawn either.....Now my Chippindale Night Out Ladies Club.....that would be a different story.

Slyde said...

i saw that latest update just this very morning.... made me chuckle!

Organic Meatbag said...

wow...I wanna be your friend! Hahaha!

P said...

If I was a lesbian and you were a lesbian, I'd want you to be my wife.

(Can you tell I've been drinking??)

Hillary said...

love it!

Ben said...

Can I friend your mom?

Amber (Girl with the red hair) said...

Hilarious. My mom, dad, grandma AND my grandpa are all my friends on facebook.

One night during my 2nd year of college I came home from the bar and updated my status to say:

Amber is drunk and naked. Hahahahahahaha.

I then promptly passed out and my Grandpa who gets up at 5 am every day saw it. Ohhh, dear.

Random Musings Of My Life said...

LMAO.. I love your mom...

And my mom is on facebook too, and my dad.. I am still waiting for a friends request from my grandparents.. then I will die

Mike said...

And now if I see the topless redhead if i'm in B.C., I'll know exactly who it is!

Joker_SATX said...

I just can't understand when Parents lose their sense of Humor....

Great Post!

Bathwater said...

Seriously does anyone NEED to be on facebook? added me!

noelia ~ said...

i have my mom (but i would prefer I didn't really). i'm still amazed at the fact that she knows how to upload pictures to facebook but not to the computer, it's weird.

walkingonsunshine18 said...

UGH parents on facebook is the worst, be thankful you don't have her as a friend. My Mom comments on EVERYTHING! It's embarassing. PS I love that you wrote you had a mistletoe on your belt ;)

Gregorio Martino said...

Could it possibly be that you are too fun for them?

My mom doesn't even know what a facebook is.

Hell my wife can't figure it out either.

Tricia said...

I totally cleansed my facebook profile before accepting my mom's friend request. And I never, never, never link my blog from my FB page - just too dangerous.

There are some things mom's don't need to know and my life is really not that risque. :)

Melissa W said...

I wonder if your mom would add me? I am going to try and see.

Personally, I love your FB status updates. They crack me up.

Andy said...

My mom AND my dad BOTH created Facebook accounts and I was their first friend. No need to say I blocked my photos from them because I don't think they'd be pleased to see me hammered after 6 double shots of tequila.

Mous said...

I blocked my mom because of my drunken status updates!

Meghan said...

Angela-you're braver than I.

Bruce-hahahaha.

Slyde- thanks, it's all for you!

Organic- done and done.

P- If we were both lesbians we'd be the cutest lesbian blogger couple EVOR!

Hillary- thanks.

Ben- hahahaha, of all people figured you'd be the one to go there.

Amber- oh.my.god. that is hilarious! hahahaha.

Random- hmmm, that could get interesting!

Mike- if ever in BC and you see a topless redhead go upto them and chat and they're clearly me.

Joker- I know, they should find my antics hilarious!

Bathwater- noone NEEDS to, but that's part of the fun of it.

Noelia- agreed. I'm surprised my mom knows what facebook is.

walkingonsunshine- that's my biggest fear.

Gregorio- that's probably for the best.

Tricia- to cleanse mine I'd have to delete my entire account.

Melissa W- she'll add you.

Andy-no parent needs to see that.

Mous- it's probably for the best anyways.

Mrs. Holly Hall said...

My mother in law is now on facebook which is connected with blog.

Which adds a whole dimension to one's self expression if you know what I mean.

Lap dancing will get you on the nice list IF YOU DO IT RIGHT!

;)

Ellie said...

ballet and kickboxing work. Although if you work at the ballet you probably don't need the kickboxing.

LiLu said...

You're lucky... not only am I friends with my parents, my GRANDFATHER added me.

Life FAIL.

PorkStar said...

LMFAO my dad and my grandparents are on there too and the latter won't add me up either.

jamie said...

YES to Team Jailbait with No Shirt On.

Meghan said...

Mrs. Holly Hall-practise makes perfect!

Ellie- good point!

Lilu- good luck with that, ouch.

Porkstar- it's probably for the best.

jamie- mmmmm, team jailbait.

Rebekah J said...

I kind of wish my parents weren't on Facebook. I keep it so bland and it's all their fault. Mom would flip if she saw my blog or Twitter.

Rebekah J said...

And PS: look for Rebekah81 on there and let's be friends! I will love your updates!