Sunday, January 24, 2010
My Points of Contention
Picture jacked from Here
I have to admit as much as I am a forward thinking career woman with a tongue like a whip, I still have some very old fashioned ideals when it comes to social etiquette. I don't believe you should answer your cellphone at a meal, guys should pay for the first date (unless asked on it), you should show up five to ten minutes early to an appointment, and thank you notes will never go out of style.
That being said lately there are a few things that have been annoying me endlessly, and it's been a point of debate among friends if it's socially fine and I'm just uptight, or if there are boundaries that some people just do not have respect for anymore. Either way it's an excuse to rant.
Scenario 1: I'm out at a birthday dinner a month ago, at a nice restaurant where the dinner does not come free and that's fine. I give the guest of honour a nice and heartfelt gift along with a card which is appreciated and everything goes fine. Until the bill arrives and it was decided by the other guest that we would split it. I didn't want to be the ass that objects, but it was an extra 15 dollars to my bill I was not planning for when scrounging for Christmas presents. I would have gladly donated towards the dinner, but it was the expectation. I did not expect anyone to pay for my meal on mine, but that's just me. Maybe it's stingy, but it was a bit of a slap in the face after the expensive gift bought.
Scenario 2: I text someone. A day goes by, still no text back. They have updated their facebook or twitter, but no text. I understand some people are busy and not everyone has a witty reply or something to say. And that not everyone has their celly strapped to their side when eating/sleeping/bathing. But when you know someone is within constant range of their phone and they do not reply, it makes me stabby to a point of no return. Offensive, or just not expected?
Scenario 3: This one has been happening more frequently. You decide to have a social eve, so you invite a few friends out for drinks or dinner or whatever. They take that as an open invite to invite their friends. I'm all for meeting new people, and if you want to bring someone along, go for it. That's always a good time especially at social events. But recently there was a get together at a local watering hole and a couple guests took it upon themselves to invite no less than four friends of theirs. This lead to having no room at the table so that people that were originally asked to meet up had to leave. Is it wrong to think it's rude when someone takes it upon themselves to invite their friends to an event, even if it is in a public place and it was an open invite via facebook? I don't want people to feel out of place, but also feel there's a certain point when it becomes rude and also the person should mention it first.
Scenario 4: You are making small talk with someone at the coffee line up, elevator, etc. I'm the queen of small talk and have this uncanny ability to manage to talk fashion with strangers (which is odd being that I'm not fashionable). But lately I've found simply asking someone about their day/the weather has lead to the person leading into their sob story for no less than 3 minutes. Their kids are sick at home, their husband left them, the rent just got boosted which sucks cause hours got cut back at work. And not to sound like a complete heartless bitch, but really more often that not, I don't care. I just want to get my coffee from the line up without the awkward chat about court custody cases. I understand sometimes its loneliness, but seriously people need to think before they open their mouths. Discretion can be golden when I'm peeing in the stall next to you, and yes I've had it happen even there. Maybe it's heartless but I'm not a shrink.
These are just a few of the social boundaries I have noticed lately and have been up in the air about. Do you have an opinion about any of the above? What are your social grievances?