Sunday, April 5, 2009

Baby Got Back

So it's back.

My mojo.

Or if not back, its peeking at me tepidly from around a corner.

Except by mojo I don't mean the lusty Meghan who trots around hornier than a nun at a dildo factory. Or even the Meghan that eyeballs public places as potential mating sites, but just a general zsa zsa zu is back. My joy de vie, the swagger in my step, the sideways smile that says more than words, its all starting to come back to me.

And the funny thing, nothing I thought would bring it back, brought it back.

Not the trip to Cuba even though the white washed beaches and heavy handed mojitos made it the perfect scenery to find one's mojo. And not my spiffy new haircut complete with bangs for the first time since 1992. It wasn't my newfound love for red lipstick and the fact that I suddenly seem to not only LIKE the colour yellow, I can't get enough of it. It hasn't been any clothes purchased or shoe stepped in, and although my new twice weekly meeting with the tanning booths are making my skin a lesser shade of pale, it's not really that either. The yoga classes and daily sit ups have meet slowly shaping my physique to that of a less skinny, more toned woman and I do have to say I like it, but that's not quite it either. A progressive date this week with undertones of flirting was lovely, but did not make or break my new found mojo.

The truth of the matter is that none of these things and all of these things have done it all at the same time. It's just finding that general sense of comfort with who I am that had been lost ever since the break up, as well as really *gasp* opening my eyes up to things around me.

It sounds so simple, but in the day to day life I get very trapped in the comforts provided by routine. And slowly that starts to spread into routine of diet, clothes, physique and life choices. It's as simple as questioning the fact of how redheads are not supposed to wear yellow or red and deciding for myself to do both, at the same time. It's not talking about how I'd like to exercise but making the choice to do so. It's deciding that whether or not my date progresses into a second or third, I'm alright with the outcome either way.

It's realizing how little I really know and how much is based on the hole I have boxed perception in. I'm finding in my later twenties that my preconceived notions can often be the reason I feel stagnant in the first place. I have experienced a lot of life for my age, but that is not to say I can't go forward and learn and experience a million more. Something as simple as my new years challenge has opened the door for this new experience, and with it is suddenly a rush of excitement that makes my senses feel alive again.

That, in essense, is my mojo.

Feeling comfortable with who I am all the while feeling open and excited for what I am learning, and what I can do. It's about looking at dating as a fun adventure, not a chore and that mojo is not about sex it's about feeling comfortable in your own skin which then equates to sexiness. It's not glossed lips and painted fingernails, designer labels and stilettos. *

It's all me baby, and I'm back!

*That's not to say that bangs, red lipstick and a new outfit hurt either ;) And thought I'd post a pic to show off my spiffy new bangs.


FoggyDew said...

Glad to hear you found your mojo. It's usually in the last place we look. Of course, everything we're looking for is in the last place we look, cause why would we keep looking if we've already found it?

BTW, great hair cut!

Angela said...

Mojo is essential to having fun. I'm glad you've got your groove back!

Deutlich said...

your hair is SUPER fantastic

Anonymous said...

You're smokin' hot Megs!

Random Musings Of My Life said...


I am glad your mojo is back.. and I LOVE the bangs.. you are braver than me!!

Tricia said...

Yay! The mojo is back! :)

I love the bangs! LOVE.THEM!

Mike said...

I thought you were going to say a giant penis.

This is definitely better ;)

Anonymous said...

So the morale is you had your mojo all along? I'll be happy to just find the ability to wake up before noon.

Sarah K said...

Her mojo wasn't gone, it was just feeling sheepish. She had to work to coax it back out again. Yay mojo!

I'm happy for you!

Also, we should make an appointment to collide lives for the duration of a java sometime soon. I miss you.

Meghan said...

FoggyDew- I thought it was trapped under the couch cushions, but that was just spare change.

Angela- I have noticed the fun scale is rising once again :)

Deutlich-Thank you! Wow, way to make a lady feel great.

Kelsey- you are too, sexypants!

Random-a bold hair step but one I'm glad I made. Go for it!

Tricia- thank you!

Mike- that wouldn't HURT, but no definately doesn't equate to the mojo.

Joyless- maybe your mojo is fueled by sleep?

Sarah- thanks lovely! And I have been missing you like crazy too! We should do something this weekend, or at least soon :)

Paula said...

Woohoo! I think I know EXACTLY what you mean! :)

Slyde said...

is it wrong that the thought of a dildo factory got me all tingly?

It's Me! said...

OMG! HOT HOT HOT!!! You look fantastic Magan! Love the new do!

Jamie said...

You look amazing. I love your hair.

I'm glad you found your mojo, I really need to get mine back.

Mermanda said...

You look like a pin up!

Bruce said...

I like the new are definately working the new hair.

On a related note, I have found that your perceptio of the 'mojo' is basically correct. Most of the problems we have in our lives in the expectations of things, be is success, relationships, happiness, blah, blah, blah. Yet, if we just learn to find our center and enjoy the ride, things usually fall into place. We can't 'force' life. We just have to let it happen and try not to make any huge blunders or mistakes.

Nivelo said...

I must apologize for posting the previous comment in the wrong place. But again the haircut is still sexy as hell. It's good to know that your doing better these days. Been following the blog for a while and I've just added you on twitter. Hope your doing well anyway.

Meghan said...

Paula -wink ;)

Slyde- no dildo's get me tingly too.

Jess- thanks, lovely :)

Jamie- it'll come back in time, just don't try to force it.

Mermanda- I think that's the best compliment I've ever received. Thank you.

Bruce- agreed, 100 percent.

Nivelo- thanks for the compliment and the add!

Racquel Valencia said...

You = Smokin'

Well, not literally. That shit'll kill you. But looking good.

Side note; I've always thought redheads looked amazing in pink. I think we have Molly Ringwald to thank for that.

Leanne said...

Sweet All The Viagra I've Been Feeding You Secretly, Finally Paid Off!!! Unfortunatly After Our Vacation Hehehehe

Roland Hulme said...

I think you look absolutely beautiful in your picture. Those bangs are banging. Grrrrr, baby!

Meghan said...

Racquel- I've never seen a Molly Ringwald movie, but feel I must now to get the reference.

Leanne- a delayed reaction isn't always a bad one. Meow.

Roland- Oh beHave!

little erin said...


you do need to check out molly ringwald (i prob just spelled her name wrong) because you do remind me of her.

i'm so proud you are keeping up with thr 101 in 1001 list! me too! see we need to encourage each other!