Sunday, November 8, 2009
Foiled By My Own Plan
Yesterday was kind of an expensive, shitty day. Except for getting my first eggnog latte of the year. That was nice. But the rest?
A tire blew out on the car which resulted in getting up at 7am on a weekend (grossness) to beat the snow tire lineup so I can get two new tires on Buzz Lightyear so he can continue to go to and fro. That took until about 11:30am and I chose not to blog about it.
Also at approximately 10:30 am plumbing Armageddon happened in my kitchen and I chose not to blog about the pools of water everywhere and the ruined kitchen supplies. Cause that's not too fun to blog about. Besides, I had other blogging plans for the day so those were just irritating inconveniences to get me to that point.
Ya see kittens, I had a dentist appt yesterday (yes. again.) and my dentist is heavy handed on the Ativan as welcoming as I am with taking it. 1 root canal =2 pills. So although it wasn't the longest appointment, I was quite royally effed up by the time my bestie came to pick me up. This is where the plans of blogging came in, and I patted myself on the back for being so clever.
Ativan in all its tricky glory has a tendency to make me black out. Big time. So I figured I'd blog everything I thought/did said when ativan induced which would be entertaining for you, but also helpful so that when I woke up this morning groggy and out of it I could go back to my computer and it would all make sense.
Example of the Blog I thought would be created:
4:25 Took a sip of iced tea
4:50 Decided to watch Robin Hood:Men in Tights. Wendy's baked potatoes need to get recognized in foodie circles more.
5:15 An ode to Ativan:
I love you.
You make me so sleepy.
Refrigerator
And so forth....
What actually happened.....
Leanne and me came here. She ate her burger, I ate part of my potato we chatted for a bit, my landlord came over to fix the sink and we watched something on tv....
BLACK OUT..... wake up. Ten at night. Leanne is gone. Cat is eating the potato. TV confuses me. BLACK OUT....wake up, it's 3am. My cat, full on potato is curled up besides me. Lock the door, make my way to bed.
11:00am this morning, wake up. Sink is missing from kitchen, cat has puked up the potato on the floor, no word of Leanne and blog is not posted. Epic experiment in Ativan fail. but know that the thought was there. And in theory, it was good.
I guess the only way to make up for this is to do a double post day.
A tire blew out on the car which resulted in getting up at 7am on a weekend (grossness) to beat the snow tire lineup so I can get two new tires on Buzz Lightyear so he can continue to go to and fro. That took until about 11:30am and I chose not to blog about it.
Also at approximately 10:30 am plumbing Armageddon happened in my kitchen and I chose not to blog about the pools of water everywhere and the ruined kitchen supplies. Cause that's not too fun to blog about. Besides, I had other blogging plans for the day so those were just irritating inconveniences to get me to that point.
Ya see kittens, I had a dentist appt yesterday (yes. again.) and my dentist is heavy handed on the Ativan as welcoming as I am with taking it. 1 root canal =2 pills. So although it wasn't the longest appointment, I was quite royally effed up by the time my bestie came to pick me up. This is where the plans of blogging came in, and I patted myself on the back for being so clever.
Ativan in all its tricky glory has a tendency to make me black out. Big time. So I figured I'd blog everything I thought/did said when ativan induced which would be entertaining for you, but also helpful so that when I woke up this morning groggy and out of it I could go back to my computer and it would all make sense.
Example of the Blog I thought would be created:
4:25 Took a sip of iced tea
4:50 Decided to watch Robin Hood:Men in Tights. Wendy's baked potatoes need to get recognized in foodie circles more.
5:15 An ode to Ativan:
I love you.
You make me so sleepy.
Refrigerator
And so forth....
What actually happened.....
Leanne and me came here. She ate her burger, I ate part of my potato we chatted for a bit, my landlord came over to fix the sink and we watched something on tv....
BLACK OUT..... wake up. Ten at night. Leanne is gone. Cat is eating the potato. TV confuses me. BLACK OUT....wake up, it's 3am. My cat, full on potato is curled up besides me. Lock the door, make my way to bed.
11:00am this morning, wake up. Sink is missing from kitchen, cat has puked up the potato on the floor, no word of Leanne and blog is not posted. Epic experiment in Ativan fail. but know that the thought was there. And in theory, it was good.
I guess the only way to make up for this is to do a double post day.
Friday, November 6, 2009
Nom Nom Nom
In light of yesterdays candy post, I'm going to hammer the final nail into the Halloween posts....
If you're anything like me, you like structure and there is no better way for a kid to gain obsessive compulsive and organizational behaviors than with Halloween candy. I remember on Halloween night dumping out the pillowcase onto the livingroom floor, shifty of anyone eyeballing the good stuff, and with frozen fingers and a buzz, sorting it into 3 bowls. The Good Stuff. The Alright Stuff. And the Throw Outables.
Here is where I show you how to determine between the three piles.
The Good Stuff: any full size chocolate bar easily goes into the good pile. Hands down. Along with anything with chocolate or nuts in it, peanut free label be damned. Everyone knows the little nugget sized bars of Snickers and Oh Henrys made any lunch day better and you would be the one the kids wanted to trade snacks with on the playground. Not that you would. Suckers.
The Alright Stuff: This is the pile where the wagon wheels and granola bars go. Not bad snacks by any means, but they're already the usual suspects in the lunchbox so they're not really special. This pile is mean to be eaten when The Good Stuff pile of candy is gone and yet you don't want the remnants of free candy to be over. Sour Kids and Caramel Corn always end up in this pile for me, but you may find that they belong to the Good Stuff pile and I can respect that.
The Throw Outables: Any fruit by default ends up in this pile because my mom said that she knew someone who knew someone who knew someone who ended up with poison or some sort of razor blade in unwrapped food. And my mom isn't a liar so we should all listen to her. Also in The Throw Outables pile? Raisins. Anyone who gives raisin on Halloween is by default an asshole. Even at seven this was apparent. Those weird corn candy things with the trifecta of ugly fall rainbows have always made their way to this pile as well as Rockets candy. Even as a kid, mamma wanted the good stuff and knew her ghetto candy when she saw it. Also in this pile? Candy apples. Covering a fruit in sugar doesn't mean there's not fruit underneath it. Caramel apples however? They obviously belong in the Alright Stuff pile. But eat it before you get to the rest of the pile due to the time sensitive nature of the fruit underneath.
Anyways, I hope this lesson in Halloween candy sorting 101 has been helpful and remember if you need any help next year I'd be more than happy to come over to supervise the sorting. But this of course means I get to choose what I want from your Good Stuff.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Diabetic Coma
Oh yeah, and in all the wrap up posts about the parties and the drama I forgot to mention one other little thing about Halloween...
Not one kid stopped by my place for candy, and I couldn't be happier ;)
Not one kid stopped by my place for candy, and I couldn't be happier ;)
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Confession Time
I'm not very good at finishing through with goals. Of my list of 101 things to do in 1001 days, I'm finding the ones with a finish line are the hardest. Jumping out of an airplane is one thing but doing sit ups for a whole month is definately another. Which is why the last few days that you may have noticed a few more posts than normal, I didn't want to admit that I've been secretly setting my goal on NaMoPoMo.
But then tonight came and I'm tired and cranky and have an ear infection and just got off the couch after a two hour nap which trumped both laundry and tai chi to stretch and get ready for bed. And I looked at my blog page and was planning on signing out without a post. You didn't know my super secret goal, so noone would have been any the wiser. But the thing is, I don't want to sweep this one under the rug like the quit soccer classes and dusty dancing shoes. This is the one I want to stick with. To grow from, to maybe even learn from?
So it's official. I'm sticking it out there. NaMoPoMo, it's on like donkey kong. I may fail, but if so it's going to be with everyone knowing the finish line in the first place. Last week I wasn't even certain if I wanted to continue with blogging anymore, muchless whether or not I had anything to say. Well, needless to say that's about to change quick. Another stressful factor is that it's going to be an exercise in not using comments as vaidation. Often I have larger gaps between posts cause I like my comments to be higherand it makes me feel the post is popular? Respected? With each comment it is a little smile towards the post. With posting every day I'm not going to have time to see whether or not I have what I consider to be enough comments before going onto the next one.
But that's all I'm going to rattle on about tonight since I have to find something to talk about for the next month! I hope this post makes sense from my sleep addled brain, but if not that's okay too cause I'm going to bed anyways.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
The Halloween MashUp
You have to take a look for yourselves to see what the night consisted of....
Gretchen loves beer, and beer loves Gretchen!
A beer wench, kissing booth, Batman and a sailor walk into a bar one time, and...
Mario and Luigi decide to join us for a good time.
Poor duct taped heel. RIP Halloween, 09.
Anyone want a ride?
Not drunk AT ALLL.....no siree....not in our group...
And what's a wench to do after crying on the streets? Join a grumpy Batman at Denny for some grub, of course!
Gretchen loves beer, and beer loves Gretchen!
A beer wench, kissing booth, Batman and a sailor walk into a bar one time, and...
Mario and Luigi decide to join us for a good time.
Poor duct taped heel. RIP Halloween, 09.
Anyone want a ride?
Not drunk AT ALLL.....no siree....not in our group...
And what's a wench to do after crying on the streets? Join a grumpy Batman at Denny for some grub, of course!
Monday, November 2, 2009
Man Handled
I am 5' 2". I weigh approximately 97lbs on a good day. I don't pretend that I am big, nor tough, but that doesn't stop me from voicing my opinion and sometimes running my mouth.
This is amplified when I drink.
So when I went out on Saturday and drank too much, it doesn't surprise me that I got mouthy when given attitude. I'm normally a happy go lucky drunk, but can dish it out as well as I take it in any form. Unfortunately on Saturday, this came in the form of lipping off a bouncer at a club.
He then without warning or hesitation picked me up, fireman style and literally threw me out of the bar, banning me for the night. If not for the other bouncer knowing one of my friends and alerting her, noone would have been any the wiser that I was kicked out, and I would have been stuck outside freezing.
I'm not going to dispute that I was drunk, but a lot of people were drunk that night and did not get kicked out. A girl threw up at our table and didn't get kicked out. Was I drunk? Yes. Was I obnoxious? Yes. For both of those I am still embarrassed. I'm not going to say there wasn't reason to kick me out. But to do in such a manner is making my blood boil. He could have asked me to leave the bar. He didn't. He could have walked me out of the bar. Once again, he didn't. Instead in front of a large group of people he threw me over his shoulder, knowing that I was wearing a short skirt which would expose me to the world and had his hands on me.
Would he have tried to do that if I was a guy? Absolutely not. Would he have done that had I been 170lbs? No. He took his position of authority to a level that is inappropriate and unneccesary. I may be mouthy but in no way as I am physical threat to anyone and to use physical force to get someone to leave without asking them to leave in the first place is completely unneccesary.
It all happened so quickly that I was left, bawling on the street wondering what the hell just happened. I'm humilated still as I've never been kicked out of a bar, muchless in such a manner.
This was done at the same bar that once tried to kick me out for being too drunk when I was the DD and hadn't drank, and once cut me off after two drinks for being too drunk ( I may be a lightweight but even I can handle that). At this point I'm wondering who's dog I kicked that works in that bar.
Today I am debating going to said bar to lodge a formal complaint, but am still absolutely humilated and don't want to show my face there.I just want to hide away from it all. In one way I don't agree with what happened, but it's his word against mine and my memory is blurry. It's 'the drunk girl' going against the bar staff. That being said, I don't think what happened is right and I feel that my size and weight were used against me when I was in a vulnerable state.
Just because I'm drunk does not make it right for anyone to put their hands on me inapppropriately, muchless display my ass to the world. It doesn't mean not giving me reason to kick me out, nor does it mean he should have tossed me out on the sidewalk. I could have fallen. I could have still had my purse or jacket inside. I'm wondering if I making too much out of this, but something tells me I'm not.
This is amplified when I drink.
So when I went out on Saturday and drank too much, it doesn't surprise me that I got mouthy when given attitude. I'm normally a happy go lucky drunk, but can dish it out as well as I take it in any form. Unfortunately on Saturday, this came in the form of lipping off a bouncer at a club.
He then without warning or hesitation picked me up, fireman style and literally threw me out of the bar, banning me for the night. If not for the other bouncer knowing one of my friends and alerting her, noone would have been any the wiser that I was kicked out, and I would have been stuck outside freezing.
I'm not going to dispute that I was drunk, but a lot of people were drunk that night and did not get kicked out. A girl threw up at our table and didn't get kicked out. Was I drunk? Yes. Was I obnoxious? Yes. For both of those I am still embarrassed. I'm not going to say there wasn't reason to kick me out. But to do in such a manner is making my blood boil. He could have asked me to leave the bar. He didn't. He could have walked me out of the bar. Once again, he didn't. Instead in front of a large group of people he threw me over his shoulder, knowing that I was wearing a short skirt which would expose me to the world and had his hands on me.
Would he have tried to do that if I was a guy? Absolutely not. Would he have done that had I been 170lbs? No. He took his position of authority to a level that is inappropriate and unneccesary. I may be mouthy but in no way as I am physical threat to anyone and to use physical force to get someone to leave without asking them to leave in the first place is completely unneccesary.
It all happened so quickly that I was left, bawling on the street wondering what the hell just happened. I'm humilated still as I've never been kicked out of a bar, muchless in such a manner.
This was done at the same bar that once tried to kick me out for being too drunk when I was the DD and hadn't drank, and once cut me off after two drinks for being too drunk ( I may be a lightweight but even I can handle that). At this point I'm wondering who's dog I kicked that works in that bar.
Today I am debating going to said bar to lodge a formal complaint, but am still absolutely humilated and don't want to show my face there.I just want to hide away from it all. In one way I don't agree with what happened, but it's his word against mine and my memory is blurry. It's 'the drunk girl' going against the bar staff. That being said, I don't think what happened is right and I feel that my size and weight were used against me when I was in a vulnerable state.
Just because I'm drunk does not make it right for anyone to put their hands on me inapppropriately, muchless display my ass to the world. It doesn't mean not giving me reason to kick me out, nor does it mean he should have tossed me out on the sidewalk. I could have fallen. I could have still had my purse or jacket inside. I'm wondering if I making too much out of this, but something tells me I'm not.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
The Hangover
When you don't remember the night before due to excessive alcohol consumption there are certain keys to piecing together the night.
1.) Check that there isn't anyone in your bed with you, you have your housekeys, wallet and so forth.
2.)Ask friends what happened.More than likely they are in the same boat but together you can start to make a semblance of an evening.
3.)Check for photos, text logs, and bank transactions to show you where you've been, who you texted and what you found important to record.
4.) Wait for people's messages/writing on your wall on facebook.Don't be shy, when they say "Ohmigod, I can't believe what happened last night!" ask, point blank, "What happened." Also new friend requests are a good way to start figuring it out.
5.) Hope that the colourful vomit you're expelling will show what shots you did, what post bar food was? Too much? Yeah, but it may help.
6.) Try to muster up the dignity to go back to the bar to ask why you got kicked out.
7.) Know that even if your outfit didn't start out with a duct taped shoe, the night ended with one. Poor, poor shoe.
8.) And last but not least maybe hide out for a few days to see that since you don't remember, everyone else will forget what happened.
Fuck. This is why I don't drink anymore.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Failed Blog Post Topics This Week
I love cheese, just not the after effects.
Air Guitar and Margaritas for Beginners.
UFC: My Cat vs a Crow.
7 Cups of Coffee in a Row= tweaking like Lohan on a Tuesday night.
Lets All Practise Our Thriller Dance for This Saturday.
The Good Side of H1N1=Making out with Douchey Ex's and Not Being the Fugliest Person at Walmart.
Vote: Will My Halloween costume get me sent home from work to change?
Twitter: I still don't get it.
........yeah, so you can see why it's been quiet here in these parts. So I'm going to take the opportunity to fill out a meme that has been passed along to be by a few wicked bloggers and have been meaning to get to for the last while...
Go for it and have a turn, I'm going to tag...
Kelsey
Kyla
Taylor
Amber
Hillary
Angela
It's upto you if you wanna partake and pass it on, but it's good for when you have a blogger funk day. And along with the meme comes an award, at least that's what I managed to get from Paula at *Insert My Blogname Here* who is more of a friend than a fellow blogger at this point. It's just a meme and shout out to some of the blogs I love.
A couple weeks back I also got this award from Taylor and it's pretty sweet (check out her blog, she's a good writer and hawt) so I wanna pass it along to people I think give good blog too.
Jamie
Ben
Mike
Tricia
Paula
and Maxie
It's not that I don't love everyone on the blergroll it's just these are some of the blogs I have been following for ages, and I don't normally give out award so wanted to show some love to some of the people I know best at this point.
And remember blog awards are the gifts that keep on giving only without a week long prescription and ointment so feel free to keep this ball rolling!
Air Guitar and Margaritas for Beginners.
UFC: My Cat vs a Crow.
7 Cups of Coffee in a Row= tweaking like Lohan on a Tuesday night.
Lets All Practise Our Thriller Dance for This Saturday.
The Good Side of H1N1=Making out with Douchey Ex's and Not Being the Fugliest Person at Walmart.
Vote: Will My Halloween costume get me sent home from work to change?
Twitter: I still don't get it.
........yeah, so you can see why it's been quiet here in these parts. So I'm going to take the opportunity to fill out a meme that has been passed along to be by a few wicked bloggers and have been meaning to get to for the last while...
Here’s how this one works: USE ONLY ONE WORD! It’s not as easy as you might think. Copy and change the answers to suit you and pass it on. It’s really hard to use only one-word answers.
1. Where is your cellphone? Coffeetable
2. Your hair? Red
3. Your mother? Strong
4. Your father? Quiet
5.Your favorite food? Sushi
6. Your dream last night? Effed
7. Your favorite drink? Caesar
8. Your dream/goal? Happiness
9. What room are you in? livingroom
10. Your hobby? Blogging
11. Your fear? alone
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? settled
13. Where were you last night? Earls
14. Something that you aren't? rude
15. Muffins? Yummy
16. Wish list item? Money
17. Where did you grow up? Stewart
18. Last thing you did? Shower
19. What are you wearing? jammies
20. Your TV? Foodtv
21.Your pets? Sleeping
22. Friends? Scattered :(
23. Your life? Mellow.
24. Your mood? Anxious.
25. Missing someone? LOTS.
26. Vehicle? Infiniti
.27. Something you're not wearing? Shirt
28. Your favorite store? ValueVillage
29. Your favorite color? Green
30. When was the last time you laughed? Afternoon
31. Last time you cried? Sunday
32. Your best friend? Back!
33. One place that I go over and over? Home.
34. One person that emails me regularly? Mom
35. Favorite place to eat? Subway
Go for it and have a turn, I'm going to tag...
Kelsey
Kyla
Taylor
Amber
Hillary
Angela
It's upto you if you wanna partake and pass it on, but it's good for when you have a blogger funk day. And along with the meme comes an award, at least that's what I managed to get from Paula at *Insert My Blogname Here* who is more of a friend than a fellow blogger at this point. It's just a meme and shout out to some of the blogs I love.
A couple weeks back I also got this award from Taylor and it's pretty sweet (check out her blog, she's a good writer and hawt) so I wanna pass it along to people I think give good blog too.
Jamie
Ben
Mike
Tricia
Paula
and Maxie
It's not that I don't love everyone on the blergroll it's just these are some of the blogs I have been following for ages, and I don't normally give out award so wanted to show some love to some of the people I know best at this point.
And remember blog awards are the gifts that keep on giving only without a week long prescription and ointment so feel free to keep this ball rolling!
Sunday, October 18, 2009
The Un Post
I'm on the verge of writing one of those posts. You know the ones. Where the sky is dark and your mood matches and you have no real right to feel that way, but you do anyways in defiance. And so you want to share that sentiment and you blog about it.
Mostly complaints come out, a little too bitter to have the true innocence of being emo, and a cynical side slips out usually reserved for quiet nights bitching on the phone to friends who will mirror sentiments. When feeling sorry for yourself is just too easy to not give into. Where some of the cracks start to show and the veneer of confidence is dented by loneliness and melancholy that even a cute blogger pic or anecdote can't hide. Where surfing facebook somehow isn't about updates, but a show of people around you and realizing at some point when you weren't looking people ran past you into lives filled with companionship and ambition, whereas you're floundering. Where looking at dating sites makes you wonder if they're walking the tightrope of being hopeful and or giving up too. When suddenly you question those insecurities in your life whether it be your career, your finance, or your state of being.Where you wonder if they're glaringly obvious to those around you or just magnified by the the deafening silence of a Sunday night. Where suddenly you feel very alone and scared and you just want someone to relate on some level.
But your hand hovers over the button where it says Publish Post because you know you're going to regret it in the morning, when the sun is up. You're going to look at the computer and grimace, your face turning to lemon candy sour hoping that maybe nobody read it during your sleeping hours. You're going to feel embarrassed for that moment, that hour, that day where you felt hopeless because obviously people are going on with their days, just as it's the start of a new day for you.
I wonder how many people have hit the save now on this post, and gone to bed to think it over. I wonder how many people feel alone at this very moment, in the darkness. I wonder how many people have thought of publishing this exact same post.
Mostly complaints come out, a little too bitter to have the true innocence of being emo, and a cynical side slips out usually reserved for quiet nights bitching on the phone to friends who will mirror sentiments. When feeling sorry for yourself is just too easy to not give into. Where some of the cracks start to show and the veneer of confidence is dented by loneliness and melancholy that even a cute blogger pic or anecdote can't hide. Where surfing facebook somehow isn't about updates, but a show of people around you and realizing at some point when you weren't looking people ran past you into lives filled with companionship and ambition, whereas you're floundering. Where looking at dating sites makes you wonder if they're walking the tightrope of being hopeful and or giving up too. When suddenly you question those insecurities in your life whether it be your career, your finance, or your state of being.Where you wonder if they're glaringly obvious to those around you or just magnified by the the deafening silence of a Sunday night. Where suddenly you feel very alone and scared and you just want someone to relate on some level.
But your hand hovers over the button where it says Publish Post because you know you're going to regret it in the morning, when the sun is up. You're going to look at the computer and grimace, your face turning to lemon candy sour hoping that maybe nobody read it during your sleeping hours. You're going to feel embarrassed for that moment, that hour, that day where you felt hopeless because obviously people are going on with their days, just as it's the start of a new day for you.
I wonder how many people have hit the save now on this post, and gone to bed to think it over. I wonder how many people feel alone at this very moment, in the darkness. I wonder how many people have thought of publishing this exact same post.
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