Monday, November 2, 2009

Man Handled

I am 5' 2". I weigh approximately 97lbs on a good day. I don't pretend that I am big, nor tough, but that doesn't stop me from voicing my opinion and sometimes running my mouth.

This is amplified when I drink.

So when I went out on Saturday and drank too much, it doesn't surprise me that I got mouthy when given attitude. I'm normally a happy go lucky drunk, but can dish it out as well as I take it in any form. Unfortunately on Saturday, this came in the form of lipping off a bouncer at a club.

He then without warning or hesitation picked me up, fireman style and literally threw me out of the bar, banning me for the night. If not for the other bouncer knowing one of my friends and alerting her, noone would have been any the wiser that I was kicked out, and I would have been stuck outside freezing.

I'm not going to dispute that I was drunk, but a lot of people were drunk that night and did not get kicked out. A girl threw up at our table and didn't get kicked out. Was I drunk? Yes. Was I obnoxious? Yes. For both of those I am still embarrassed. I'm not going to say there wasn't reason to kick me out. But to do in such a manner is making my blood boil. He could have asked me to leave the bar. He didn't. He could have walked me out of the bar. Once again, he didn't. Instead in front of a large group of people he threw me over his shoulder, knowing that I was wearing a short skirt which would expose me to the world and had his hands on me.

Would he have tried to do that if I was a guy? Absolutely not. Would he have done that had I been 170lbs? No. He took his position of authority to a level that is inappropriate and unneccesary. I may be mouthy but in no way as I am physical threat to anyone and to use physical force to get someone to leave without asking them to leave in the first place is completely unneccesary.

It all happened so quickly that I was left, bawling on the street wondering what the hell just happened. I'm humilated still as I've never been kicked out of a bar, muchless in such a manner.

This was done at the same bar that once tried to kick me out for being too drunk when I was the DD and hadn't drank, and once cut me off after two drinks for being too drunk ( I may be a lightweight but even I can handle that). At this point I'm wondering who's dog I kicked that works in that bar.

Today I am debating going to said bar to lodge a formal complaint, but am still absolutely humilated and don't want to show my face there.I just want to hide away from it all. In one way I don't agree with what happened, but it's his word against mine and my memory is blurry. It's 'the drunk girl' going against the bar staff. That being said, I don't think what happened is right and I feel that my size and weight were used against me when I was in a vulnerable state.

Just because I'm drunk does not make it right for anyone to put their hands on me inapppropriately, muchless display my ass to the world. It doesn't mean not giving me reason to kick me out, nor does it mean he should have tossed me out on the sidewalk. I could have fallen. I could have still had my purse or jacket inside. I'm wondering if I making too much out of this, but something tells me I'm not.

16 comments:

Tricia said...

I would lodge a complaint for sure, there is no reason for a bouncer to use physical force unless the person they are trying to bounce was physically resisting. And in this case, taking someone by the arm and leading them out is sufficient, actually picking you up and carrying you out was way over the line. I would think you could press charges for assault if you really wanted to take it that far.

Ben said...

The kind of things that bouncers get away with on a regular basis actually terrifies me. Most of them at MMA wannabes just looking for a chance to 'practice'. I stay way the hell away from them no matter where I go.

Moooooog35 said...

This HAS to be on YouTube somewhere.

If not to help build your case, but so the rest of us could see your bum.

Just sayin'.

MsDarkstar said...

The fact that you were bodily carried out when you had not been involved in any sort of physical fracas should be enough for you to at least express concern to the owners of the establishment.

Just be prepared to never go back as a patron once the complaint has been lodged. Which I don't think should stop you from lodging the complaint.

As Tricia said, "there is no reason for a bouncer to use physical force unless the person they are trying to bounce was physically resisting".

Mike said...

I'm 5'9", 190lbs, and can lift a 100 lb patio stone over my head repeatedly.

Don't ask me how i found out about the patio stone thing, it was also a drunk moment. Moving on.

I got thrown out of a bar much the same way you did once.

See? They don't discriminate!

Amber (Girl with the red hair) said...

Were you at CJ's on Saturday night by any chance? The bouncers there were being DICKS!

Sadako said...

Ouch. :( I'm about your size and I can't imagine being thrown out of a bar. Sounds really painful!

P said...

Wow, that's embarrassing. I'd be mortified too. No one has a right to do that, it is pretty much assault when it comes down to it.

On an entirely superficial note though, I wish I weighed 97 lbs . I'm about 30 lbs heavier than that. :(

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

The manner in which you were ejected from the bar is inexcusable. In the varied careers of my life, I have twice managed bars. As I understand the law (at least here in Kentucky) a bouncer has no right to "manhandle" a patron unless the patron displays violent behavior. Did you slug anyone? If not, then your civil rights were violated and, in my non-legal opinion, you were assaulted.

If you feel too humiliated to face the bar manager, may I suggest to allow your attorney to do so? Matter of fact, not matter how you feel about facing the bar management, I suggest that you have an attorney contact them on your behalf.

Bruce said...

Best advise....learn from it and let it go.

Slyde said...

in general, i have found most bouncers to be assholes.

if you want, i'll kick his ass for you....

Candy's daily Dandy said...

Oh Meghan, unfortunately that bouncer will lie his ass of to justify his "man handling" of you.

Honey, chalk it up to experience and remember that you don't deserve nor want to ever put yourself in that position again.

AND..you will be able to give that bouncer a piece of your mind when enough time has passed between now and then. In the end good always wins out over evil. Maybe not right away, but in time.

Rebekah J said...

sometime this week I'm going to have to post my almost-barfight Halloween story. You just reminded me that I hadn't written it yet! Doesn't involve a bouncer, but I think the part where I hit a guy upside the head is pretty cool.

walkingonsunshine18 said...

Even if you do think that he'll "deny it", you should def. complain because it might get him to realize that what he did is completely unacceptable!

Meghan said...

Tricia-the more I think about it the more you're right.

Ben- I've seen too many bouncer start fights rather than breaking them up..

Mooog- I'll let you know when the youtube is up. For evidence of course.

MsDarkstar-I like that bar, but am starting to think even in a small town there has to be other places.

Mike- but was your skirt short enough to bare ass?

Amber- no, but I've heard they were there too.

Sadoko- it could have been.

P- no you don't, I'm scrawny with no ass.

Sometimes Saintly Nick- thanks for the advice.

Bruce- sigh. That doesn't make it right.

Slyde- that's so sweet of you, thanks.

Candy- this is true, and with time I think I would be able to address it with logic not raging anger like now.

Rebekah- post it!

walkingonsunshine-thanks!

Hillary said...

you are not making too much out of this. he does not have the right to manhandle you. period. you were not involved in a physical altercation inside the bar. you posed no threat. you were not asked to leave. this pisses me right off. I hope you file a complaint with the management of the bar.