Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Self Maintaining.

Can anyone explain to me what high maintenence is?

No, I'm actualy quite serious. I have no idea what is considered 'high maintenence' and when I ask my guy friends they either don't know how to answer or get uncomfortable about trying to explain it to a woman who has been branded as such.

I've had a handful of people admit over the last few years that I would fit the typecast when the debate has come up. Mid twenties dating forums always have the recurring theme from men complaining about not wanting to deal with high maintenence women. But in order to know how to fix a problem, one would have to know what the problem is first.

Now I have my theories. The first being that high mainenence is a woman who expects a guy to foot the bill all the time. (also known as the elusive maneater) This is somethingI can definately not be accused of for a few reasons 1.) I never date guys long enough to have that be the case. 2.) I don't like guys to pay for my bills. Sure, when you have a boyfriend and he wants to take you out for a meal I'm not gonna object. But I would never expect or accept anything from a guy beyond as it can create a power struggle and I am a control freak (that could be a part of it....). I'll be that girlfriend that'll get beer and pizza when coming over to watch hockey (yes I like hockey and beer and pizza. Not just throwing it out there to seem like a 'girls's guy). ou pay for dinner and I'll pay for the movie sort of deal. Fair is fair.

The next is someone with too many demands/rules etc. within a relationship. Now, I do have high expecations of people and therefore this could be confused with high mainenence. Ex.) If you say we're going to meet for coffee at 3:00, show up at 3:00. People run late, and life happens but if you show up twnety minutes late every freaking time, I'm gonna be pissed. I don't consider that high mainenence, more common courtesy. I don't care if a guy takes off to Vegas for the weekend with his posse. As long as he doesn't come back with another women's name tattooed across his chest or a raging case of hepatitis, have fun!

The next clue to high mainetence-ville-ski is taking forever to get ready. This I am guilty of. But i will not apologize for the process. It's not a 2 hour process it's 45 minutes tops for a night out on the town and I find they guys tend to appreciate when their lady looks good, has unfrizzy hair, smooth legs and unwrinkled clothes so deal. I don't expecta guy to wait around for the process (moreof a private affair) and I shall not make someone late because of it. I have a watch and know how long I take to get ready and will make certain that it's within appropriate time constraints.

The final clue to the high maintenence gal is one who is clingier than saran wrap on a brownie. Also, just not my style. Sure I'll call people, text them and facebook msg, but within social norms. If I spend too much time with any one person in particularyou will anoy me. I love my independence and space.Nothing personal. Iwould expect the same. You have other friends, so do I. One day they'll meet and join forces and possibly take over the world together. But today I'm hanging out with my girls, so you do whatever it is that you want.

So with all factors explained, I'm still confused as to what exactly is 'high maintenence' and how I foot the bills. it's hard when not everyonewho reads, knows me personally it's just me throwing it out there for that when people say "well, I guess you're kind of high maintenence' I can calmly explain that I am perfectly capable of self maintaining.


maverick said...

@meghan..nice post...well most women wudnt stick to any of those pts u wrote out there...take for example the time taken to dress ll always exceed the stipulated time mentioned by them..newaz...wat can we do as

Doc said...

Ok, no Meghan is not high maintenance. A high maintenance man/woman is someone who needs and craves attention of some kind more often than would normally be appropriate in a relationship. This can devolve into untold drama if the attention is not given in demand.

Meghan is an independent women of her own means, terrifying princess of pirates that she is. Pirate princess's take attention when they want with the point of a sword, but never more than their fair share as they are too busy plundering and pillaging to take much notice.


Sarah Kimberly said...

I was gonna say what Doc said,only with fewer words like 'plunder' and more words like 'MEMEMEMEMEMEME'.

That's really just one word repeated a bunch of times. I know. I'm devious.

And I would just like to point out that I rarely if ever take more than ten minutes to get ready to go out. That could be because I don't know which end of the mascara thinger to hold though, so I don't bother.

Love ya!

It's Me! said...

I think everything you put in there equates to high maintenance:

Needy: the constant scream of "pay attention to me!" even at times that are totally inappropriate or unreasonable

Time to get ready: That doesn't really apply to how long it takes to get ready for a night out, but more to the daily routine. If it takes 2 hours every morning before a woman can leave the bathroom, THEN she's high maintenance. An hour or so on a night out is not unreasonable. Plus I think the ratio of hotness to imperfections factors in too. A girl who has every single hair in place and has matched her snakeskin watch to the snakeskin pumps and has absolutely flawless makeup just comes across as spending all of her time on that, and seems high maintenance. Couple that with a snooty attitude and you've definitely got a barbie. Compare that to the girl who looks fantastic, but doesn't look like she spent 6 hours curling each ringled until it had the appropriate shine/sproing, and she will not seem high maintenance.

Also, the woman who will not let her boyfriend do anything.

YOU are not high maintenance. That much I can assure you.

Meghan said...

Maverick-yeah but the end resultis usually worth it though :)

Doc-You made me blush. HARRRdly an easy task.

Sarah-Kat-Thanks for the comment, my love. It's not the holding the mascara wand that's the problem, it's the jabbing your eye out part that always gets me.

Emma-excellent explanation and I'd like to believe we're both sassy, awesome self maintaing women. Oh and shiver me timbers1

PrincessPolly said...

All in all, I wouldn't say you were high maintenance. I can't pinpoint the exact qualities that would tip someone over the edge from normal or low-maintenance to high maintenance, but I would say a prime example of high maintenance is Monica from "Friends" - there was a whole episode about it!

Meghan said...

Pricess Polly-great point/ episode.

unique_stephen said...

You have to see "when harry met sally" - I think that was where the phrase was coined.