Thursday, January 17, 2008

So You Think You Know Your Friends....

And then one night he* invites you over for pizza. And you bring the beer. And you end up watching porn. And the following conversation takes place....

Me, "She's faking it."
Him, "Well she seems to be enjoying herself."
Me, "Haha, you can't tell when a girl is faking."
Him, "Or I've just never had a girl fake."

Me, "Ewww, is that girl sticking something in that other girl's bum?"
Him, "Yeah. What, " (shocked) "you've never done that?"
Me, "Umm, no. Gross."
Him, "It's not so bad."
Me, (shocked), "You'va had something stuck in your bum?"
Him, "No, but I've been with a few girls who have liked it."
Me, "Gross."


Me, "Is that guy licking that girl's bum?!?"
Him, (even more shocked), "Wait, you've never had a guy do that to you."
Me, "No, I would kick a guy out of my bed for that. I've kicked guys out of my bed for less."
Him, "So, I'm guessing you've never licked a guy's ass before."
At this point the look on my face was enough to clarify the answer.
Him, "You're more innocent than I gave you credit for."

Him, "That's right, take that dirty girl and have sex with her on the beach."
Me, "Something about sex on the beach is very unappealing. I think it's the thought of sand in the vadge."
Him, "But it would be worth it."
Me,"Meh, to each their own. Just like I don't know about having sex in a hottub ever since I heard about air bubbles causing embolysms and sudden death."
Him, (now it's time for him to give me the weird look) "Hasn't happened to me yet."
Him, "Are you sure you're not a virgin?"

*name protected for my sexually deviant comrade.

10 comments:

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

This post made me laugh lol.

Just saying "Sand in the vag" makes me cringe.

maverick said...

ha ha ha...awesome...i ve had some conversations on the same tone with a few female frnds of mine..n they ve been really funny :)....lol...new pics added on the blog :)

Steph said...

Who's your friend? Hugh Hefner? lol

Meghan said...

chelsea-thanks for the laugh and the cringe :P

maverick-i'll go check em out!

steph-more like joey from friends.

maverick said...

#meghan.joey's the best...did u see the serial joey?

PrincessPolly said...

I'm a member of the "Say No To Bum Love" club! I mean, if gay guys wanna do it, that's their perogative, I'm not a homophobe. But no one is going near mine - I have another hole down there for a reason! Ooops, that sounds bad. But there's this guy in my work who is actually quite disgusting in the way he talks and is always saying lewd things to girls like "Your bum is really nice, I'd like to lick your bum hole" and its like WTF???

Meghan said...

Princess Polly-LOL,glad we're both a part of the club. Apparently your co-worker is not a part of it.

Sean said...

Makes me want to watch DVDs with you :-)

Meghan said...

Thanks Sean!

unique_stephen said...

the sand could make you irritable.