Monday, November 16, 2009

I Made a List, But Didn't Spellcheck It Twice

Dear Santa,

I know it’s about six weeks away from Christmas still, but I know you’re a busy man so I thought I’d let you have a heads up on this years wish list. Remember, organization (and cheap elf labour) is the key to success.

This year my list isn’t that grand, but I do have a lot of specifics so you’re going to want to check this list twice. And don’t bother asking already cause you know I prefer naughty over nice. But this year I tried hard and short of a grilled cheese night, have been doing good things, so try to keep that in your sight.

This year I want a shiny diamond ring, a nice tennis bracelet or other forms of bling.

A new dvd player, one that doesn’t fall apart. A Super Nintendo complete with accessories to play Duck Hunt and Mario Cart.

If you could pay off my VISA, it would be better than any present you could wrap. I know that would ensure you one visit of sitting on your lap.

Some new boots, a winter jacket, and some skinny hipster jeans. Perhaps from Rich and Royal, so that I can feel just like a queen.

A new bed with headboard, one that doesn’t creak. The neighbours would appreciate the discretion, as a mattress that doesn’t squeak.

Some chocolates, and coffees and gourmet herbal teas, some Starbucks cards and don’t forget chocolate gelato please.

A new Macbook and cell phone, one that I cannot break. Oh and some vegetarian casserole recipes that even I can make.

A sweet pair of yoga pants, straight from Lulu Lemon, with a matching water bottle and yoga pants would be my ideal piece of heaven.

Of course I’m going to save the best for last and I hope you don’t think I’m a prick. But a nice guy, with manners and smarts and at least a six inch…



Stevie said...

I heart you. I love this list!

PorkStar said...

lol nice nice list

Ben said...

I'll just take the paid off VISA.

...and a Brazilian hottie for a maid if I needed to get demanding.

Bruce said...

"Of course I’m going to save the best for last and I hope you don’t think I’m a prick. But a nice guy, with manners and smarts and at least a six inch…........(who isn't a socio-path).

(really, just 6 inches?, thats all?)

P said...

Fabulous list and I loved the last line in particular.

Me too, Santa, me too... ;)

Anonymous said...

I'm with Ben. Just pay my billz, Santa Baby.

Or some type of magical, talking pony.

Jennifer said...

HAHA! Love it!

Organic Meatbag said...

...a six inch sub from Subway?

Wanderlusting said...

LOL - can I ALSO get a Super Nintendo! OMG! Awesome.

PS now following you on better entertain me!

LiLu said...

Ahahahahahaha! You are my hero, Christmas style!

Elizabeth Marie said...

I think I need some Lulumon (sp)...I keep reading rave reviews!

Meghan said...


Porkstar- subtle isn't it :P

Ben- oh I hear you there. Maybe I can get one to do split shifts?

Bruce- hey it's the season of being giving!

P- I'm sure Santa can duplicate ;)

missrandell- with the right pharmaceuticals, at least one of those can happen!

Jennifer- thanks!

Organic Meatbag- you know I don't eat meat ;)

Wanderlisting- I'd forgotten about twitter, but figure the first step in entertainment is using it again, so will do!

Lilu- thanks. And welcome back, love.

Elizabeth Marie- I've never owned a pair either, but they seem like the chanel of yogapants so am intrigued.