Single Goggles

Single goggles are cousins to the beer goggles and are infact interchangable and sometimes easily swapped. But whereas beer goggles fog your vision to make the opposite sex funnier, sexier and worthwhile of relations, single goggles are trickier.

You see beer googles happen within a twenty four hour period and are akin to sunglasses at night and when ripped off in the morning light, slap you in the face with the mistake made in the sense of someone who's drivers license you look at while in the washroom and promise to friend on facebook.

But single goggles are goggles you have on all the time but fog up over time. The prescription gets stronger the longer you go without kissing, dates, and "relations". They make you question that ex you broke up with years ago and think that their drug problem really isn't that much of a dealbreaker. They make you look at that guy at the party with the limp and the unibrow and wonder if maybe he has great character and personality other women haven't discovered yet. They make you eyeball men at the grocery store and see if their groceries are similar to yours and if this is enough for a conversation starter. That guy on the dating site that has 'n/a' under profession could just be mysterious, and that guy at the bar with the Ed Hardy shirt....well that's where I draw the line.

But the single goggles are glasses that come on after a certain point of singleness, and the prescription gets deceptively stronger over time which is why you need the advice of a wingman. Not the beer goggle wingman, those have a whole other set of wingman rules I'll go over at some point. But the single goggles wingman will coax you from texting that guy that asked for your number and failed to follow through. They'll verbally (and physically if need be) slap you across the face if you think about taking him back just one more time, cause it's just soooooooooo comfortable with him. They'll encourage you to date, but won't let you scrape the bottom of the barrel just so you can at least feel like SOMEONE wants to take you out for coffee.

I think it's safe to say we've all wore a pair of single goggles at some point or another. Have you ever worn them or been a wingman for a friend with single goggles?