To elbow people at malls, go to ugly sweater parties and finally get rid of that god awful Movember mo' that's making my guy friends look like Where's Waldo with a restraining order.
Oh, and of course Christmas stuff. When not suckling at the teet of Starbucks Eggnog Lattes in their fiery cups I've been know to enjoy a mulled wine or two. Or in the case of last year's workplace Christmas banquet, a bottle or two. Followed by tucking the skirt into my nylons. In the front. And chatting with the boss and his wife.
So I thought since it's the season of sharing I'd show you a few of my personal holiday drink recipes from my liquor stash so that you can report back with your own trainwrecky stories of mistletoe stapled to belts and making out with the janitor at your own workplace soiree.
1 container of store bought eggnog.
Good quality amber rum
Pour rum into the bottom of a glass. Roughly one third of the glass, but more or less to taste. Add eggnog. Be festive and add a sprinkling of nutmeg. Not too much, that shit is potent. Stir and enjoy.
1 bottle of red wine. Don't get all fancy shit on me, the 7$ bottle will do.
1 cup apple cider. Without alcohol. We're making mulled wine, not moonshine.
A blob of honey. No more, no less.
A small handful of cloves. Note I have tiny hands.
A handful of cinnamon sticks.
Some orange slices.
Throw all ingredients into a pot, and simmer on the stove for 20 minutes. Note I say SIMMER. The heat must be low or the alcohol will burn out and then you might as well feed it to the dog or get high on the leftover nutmeg from the eggnog.
Candy Cane for garnish.
Measure out 3 ounces of vodka. Put two into a martini glass. Take the other one as a shot. Don't be a pussy, do it. Burns right? But in a good way. It's okay to like it.Throw in one ounce of peppermint scnapps. Use a candy cane as garnish and to stir your drink. Cause you're classy like that.
I hope these recipes fair you well into the New Year and encourage you to go to your local mall and sit on Santa's lap and tell him whatcha really want for Christmas.
P.S. Don't forget the giveaway on my 200th post is still open til Wed night.