Friday, November 20, 2009

Job Application

Harpo Studios
1058 W. Washington Blvd.
Chicago, Il 60607

November 20th, 2009

Pirate Meghan
Apartment w/ Cat
Kamloops, BC V2C V2C

Dear Oprah,

My name is Meghan, and I am currently applying for the job Queen of Daytime Television and Other Stuff, post date starting in 2011. I am available for this job effective 2011 and will be able to relocate to Chicago.

I have no previous experience in broadcast television, but don’t let that stop you from considering my candidacy for the position. Like you, I have a background in entertainment journalism, a strong drive and a love for great shoes. I am able to entertain and relate to others and feel I can use the platform to show surburban soccer moms everywhere, everything from Blogging to Online Dating-the Do’s and Don’ts.

I may not have a Stedman in my life, but don’t you worry I’ll pick up right off on the are you/aren’t you debate with Gayle due to the fact that I am married to my best friend on facebook and it keeps people guessing. Your Favourite Things show will be as amazing as ever with Macbooks and Iphones for all (guess I’d better start doing lunch dates with Steve now) and I even have friends in Chicago that I know would work well on the show too. Oh, but one thing is enough Adult Contemporary singers on the show, Lady Gaga and Jay-Z need to make their way to the sound stage.

If asked, I can provide an extensive list of bloggers for reference who are legit and able minded and will make a great production team for the show. Feel free to contact me at the blog provided or piratemeghan at hotmail dot com to discuss this opportunity further.

Meghan L.

P.S. Obama-rama representing.
P.P.S. Would it help if I told you I almost named my cat Oprah?
P.P.P.S. I love you.


MsDarkstar said...

I will gladly forward a glowing reference for you. And since I am an ordained clergyperson, the reference should carry a little extra weight. In fact, I could be the show's Spiritual Advisor. Just a thought.

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Love it!

Wait a moment, MsDarkstar! I am also an ordained cleryperson (even if retired) and I covet that job!


Andy said...

Best motivation letter/CV I've ever read. EVER.

P said...

I would soooo watch your show. Let's make it happen dude!!!

jamie said...


Plz move here and we can have the best talk show ever.

Bruce said...

You might want to set your sites on late night cable and work your way up.....I don't think mainstream america is ready for hang-over cures and keeping your food sperated on your plate.

Kyla Roma said...

lol! You make me so happy, it's just silly. Between this and your header image?

Perfect. =)

Meghan said...

MsDarkstar-thanks! And you're hired.

Sometimes Saintly Nick- and thanks to you too! You're hired too.

Andy- thanks.

P- you'd be on the show. As my wine sommerier, of course.

jamie- lets do this!

Bruce- only one way to find out!

Kyla Roma- thanks, and back at you.

Joker_SATX said...

Put me down as a reference....

Rebekah J said...

Will you turn "O" magazine into "M" instead?

And will there be pirate interviews?


Meghan said...

Joker- thanks!

Rebekah- you get some of the booty too then!