Wednesday, November 11, 2009

You Win, Tai Chi

I hate giving up and am stubborn to a fault. It's why I'll continue with a recipe even after it's destined to fail. Its why I\ll grasp at threads of relationships long after the flame has burned out.

But today, it's official. I'm a quitter.

I started tai chi about six weeks ago, much to the shock of my friends. It's not something I'd normally do, but that just fed the fuel even stronger. I had no idea what tai chi is, but in the Kamloops Info brochure it sounded fun, and like it would be a good branch off of yoga.

And it is a beautiful blend of martial arts, self defense and spirituality. But unfortunately it never really clicked. Don't get me wrong, I'm not opposed to exercise, and love the zen of yoga, but something about this just never really resonated with me. I haven't picked up the moves fast, but because I haven't really wanted to. I'm going to each class with no enthusiasm or spirit and it shows in my movements and moods. I don't leave the class feeling refreshed and recharged, but simply annoyed at the wasted hour. I don't take the pin pointing of my wrong movements as a positive learning experience, like in other classes, but a magnifying glass of how I don't fit in. It's not low self esteem or awkwardness, or even just giving up before trying because week after week I go, with my smile tight and my teeth gritted and do it.

But tonight, I thought about going to tai chi and how being a stat it probably wouldn't be happening tonight and felt a wash of relief and happiness. Happiness that I didn't have to go and do a hobby that I'm paying for! Hobbies are supposed to be challenging, but above that they are supposed to be something you enjoy and in procrastinating before class to accidentally missing it I realized that it's not work the twenty five dollars to push through the next six weeks. And so I quit. Plain and simple. The words taste bitter, but I am an adult and I will not be forced to do what I do not enjoy. So come January, I will be going back to the yoga I know and love and possibly even pick up a dance class, cause I'm willing to try different classes to find the one that does.

So I;m going to pose the question to you, when do you stay with something you don't enjoy because you're getting something out of it, and when do you simply walk away and quit?


Joker_SATX said...

It all depends on the reasons. You have a valid reason.

For example, I am quitting my Church. Not because I don't like it, but because my eyes have opened and realized how self serving they are.

I gave it my best shot. I found that its not for me. I have better things to do with my time. I am sure God won't mind.

Am I a quitter? Sure, if that's what you want to call me. Now the next part of the question is, "Do I give a shit?" No not really. I have come to realize that my time in this existence is limited. I don't know when I am going to leave. So, I will endeavor to do things that serve me.

I think you did the right thing. At the end of the day, if you are not smiling...then what's the point?

Anonymous said...


Well, food-wise, yes. I have actually trained myself to like certain foods (brussel sprouts, bran flakes, cranberries) because I know they're healthy. Ideally? I'd live off buttered white bread and cake. But then I would be chubby and never poop.

As for activities, I used to force myself to go to the gym because I had a desk job and literally got NO exercise. This has ceased, since I make a point of walking to school a few days a week (note: the trek is 1.5 hours). But leisure activities that I don't find fun? That's I'm paying money for? Yeah, no, can't be bothered.

Jennifer said...

I'm the same way... I pay for my gym membership and never go. Running on a treadmill is just not a past time that I find enjoyable. I much prefer to be outside walking in the sunshine, but since I live in Massachusetts that's only possible three months out of the year. I need to find an activity - yoga, pilates, etc - that speaks to me.

Nick said...

Good for you for quitting! I've seen tai chi and never understood it either – if you're gonna classify it as a martial art, when the fuck do you get to hit somebody? (It's like drinking non-alcoholic beer - what's the point?)

In the immortal (paraphrased) words of one Homer J. Simpson:

"If something's too hard at first, it's not worth doing. Look, you gave it your best shot, and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try."

Amber (Girl with the red hair) said...

I think it sounds like a valid reason, and if you DO find that kind of relaxation and enjoyment in yoga you might as well invest your time and money into yoga rather than tai chi.

PS: Where do you go to yoga at in Kamloops??? I've only done Bikram once (hated it) and tried Let's Move studio once and liked it a lot but cannot afford it! Is there any other options?

P said...

I think tai chai is one of those things that's just too damn boring to keep doing.

That's all I have to say on the matter.

Lucy said...

There is no way I would pay to do something that would make me miserable and was extra curricular, no way!! You have to get some kind of return out of your 'off' time and it should be enrichining you not making you miserable!

Meghan said...

Joker- we each have to find our own path of what's right for us :)

Missrandell- if it didn't cause regularity problems I'd eat cheese all day, but have unfortunately conditioned myself to bran too.

Jennifer- BC is the same way. And agree about the treadmill thing.

Nick-if Homer J. Simpson says it, its good enough for me!

Amber- I go to the classes offered the the VCity of Kamloops activity guide, I'll email you the details :)

P- well said ;)

Lucy- exactly!